Xian, on career or love– Bakit kailangang pumili? It’s not a valid question

KABILANG na rin si Xian Lim sa mga artistang sinasagot ang mga tanong ng kanilang followers sa social media kung ano ang mga nangyayari sa buhay nila ngayon.

Sa latest upload ng aktor ay may pa #AskXian, no holds barred siya na manggagaling ang tanong sa kanyang followers’ o supporters at sasagutin naman niya ito ng walang halong showbiz.

Ilan sa tanong sa kanya ay: What is your biggest turn-off or potential turn-off when it comes to the girl?

“Gawin na lang nating ganito, hindi sa isang babae, both men and women. One turn-off sa amin is ‘pag magkasama tayo, do not use your phone, while you’re talking parang ganoon. Imagine, may kinakausap kang tao, tapos (ginagamit ang cellphone), that’s a huge turn-off, ‘wag n’yo gagawin ‘yun, hindi okay ‘yun. Because it’s kinda rude. It’s not good to start.

“Another turn-off would be if a person’s personality is too strong, again hindi naman nila kasalanan ‘yun, but if you’re trying to create a relationship, if you’re trying to jive to those who were watching this, there’s nothing wrong with having strong personality, especially your strong independent woman. Sometimes kasi there are just people who seems like they always have to prove something maybe you kinda have to tone it down siguro. I think the huge turn-off for me would be when someone chews loudly (muwestrang may kausap pa), nah, nah check out na ako roon, bye guys.”

Would you date a fan?

“Kasi ‘yung fan, hindi naman there’s nothing wrong with it. Ayaw ko ‘yung category na fan. I don’t like that word to be honest. We shouldn’t really categorize people, but yeah I definitely would. Why not? They’re people,” diretsong sabi ng binata.

Does long distance relationship work?

“Hindi na ako masyadong magsasalita tungkol dito. Ang long distance relationship malaki ang percentage na hindi mag-work out sa totoo lang because in order to be with someone kailangan it has to be physical. Love and relationship is physical, ‘di ba? You need touch, that person needs to be there for you.

“Nothing against sa mga nag-LDR ngayon, it works for some people pero for me, mahirap. Pero siyempre given a circumstance, sometimes you have to do it for work, sometimes you have to do for family puwede if you have to do it talaga kasi kailangan mo. But kung nagsisimula palang kayo tapos LDR kaagad kayo, malabo ‘yan, malabo ‘yan tsong (sabay tawa).”

Thoughts of open relationship?

“Ay naku! Kakabasa ko lang medyo naapektuhan na ako! Ano ba ang open relationship? You’re open to date other people? Parang tayo pero hindi?

“No, no! (sabay iling). It’s WHY? Why be in a relationship when you just wanna fool around? Then don’t call it a relationship, ‘di ba?

“Nothing against people na gusto lang ng company. Conservative tayo rito guys, ha, alam ko mga iniisip n’yo. Nothing wrong with that, it’s just that you gotta be careful, ‘di ba? Be responsible sa actions, but you’re completely wasting your time, (I’m) just being honest. You’re just messing around with people,” paliwanag ni Xian.

If you’re going to choose one thing career of lovelife?

“Naku! This shouldn’t even be a question, ha, haha. Hindi ito tanong (diin niya). Bakit mo igi-give up? I mean that person should understand what you do in life? That person should not dictate your life and be like, ‘Babe, kung mahal mo ako, i-let go mo lahat ‘yan.’

“There shouldn’t be an ultimatum. Kaya nga kayo nagmamahalan because you understand each other. You push each other to the limits. You grow as individuals but you’re in a solid relationship. Kaya nga kayo nagmamahalan and say ‘I love you.’

“To assure that person na no matter what happens, ‘I’ll be here for you.’ Kaya bakit? Bakit pinapipili ba kayo (ng jowa)? Bakit kailangang pumili? Wala na akong masasabi, it’s not a valid question,” medyo nairitang sabi ng boyfriend ni Kim Chiu.

Your thoughts on splitting bills during dates? Is chivalry dead?

“Splitting bills, walang problema. Chivalry is not dead definitely. Pero I strongly believe na kung mayroon tayong gender equality, dapat mayroon din tayong paying-the-bill equality, ha, haha. So, it’s not not a big deal, paga-awayan n’yo pa ba ‘yung kinain n’yo sa isang restaurant? Mao-off ka pa ba roon? These are just petty things.

“Pero kung sumosobra na ang isang tao na palibre ng palibre sa ‘yo, wooh, red flag. Pero ‘di ba, mayroong isa sa grupo (mga kaibigan) na palibre ng palibre na hindi naglalabas ng wallet. ‘Di ba may isang grupo ng pagkakaibigan ninyo na ‘pag bayaran na, pupunta sa banyo, ‘wag naman ganoon ‘di ba? Ambag-ambag din ‘pag may time,” nakangiting paliwanag ng binata.

Is it necessary to know everything from your partner’s previous relationships?

“Alis na ako (birong sabi ni Xi, akmang tumayo). No! Bakit pa kailangang malaman? You kinda have to know certain details, but you don’t have to know everything, why?

“Even checking phones. Even checking each other’s phones, ‘wag n’yo ng i-check. Kung may tiwala kayo sa isa’t isa bakit pa kailangan? Sometimes mayroon pang iba patago, titingnan ang password, dapat hindi ‘yan mangyari. NO!” pahayag ng binata.

What are the red flags to consider when looking for a partner?

“Kung nakita mo ‘yung partner mo may pitik parang bugnutin, ‘wag naman natin siyang i-judge ‘pag bugnutin, maybe hindi kayo jive o hindi kayo okay, eh, di that’s already red flag, ‘di ba? Kung nararamdaman n’yo na pinipilit n’yo na lang na kayo, that’s also red flag.

“One advice na maibibigay ko is tingnan mo kung paano nila itrato ang nanay, tatay at ang pamilya niya. I think that’s a good way to gauge. That’s a good way to see a red flag. Makikita mo ‘yun, especially sa mga taong lagi nilang nakakasama. Basically, a red flag is more on common sense. ‘Pag nakita mo na ‘yun, ‘wag kayong aabot sa ‘oh I wanna be a person who changes this person or I wanna be this man who changes this girl or I wanna be this girl who changes this man’ ‘wag ganoon! That’s what you’re gonna be stuck with,” magandang payo ng aktor sa mga bagong magkarelasyon.

At ang huling tanong sa aktor/producer/director, at vlogger

Should I give him or her a second chance ‘pag nahuli ko silang nag-cheat?

“This goes both ways, men and women. Ganito na lang, ‘pag may hawak kang salamin ginagamit mo parati sa bahay ninyo at nasira ‘yung salamin na ‘yun and you decide to put the pieces back together, mayroon ng cracks (lamat), but mirror still intact. The mirrors gonna be there no matter how hard you try to put the pieces back together, it is still a mirror because you can see yourself in the mirror, it’s still functions, pero you can see the cracks.

“So, for me, it’s a NO! Going back to the previous question, that is a HUGE RED FLAG. Sabi nga ni Johnny Depp dito sa Google na falling in love with two people.

“Sabi ni pareng Johnny, ‘if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really love the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second.’

“Sa tingin mo, noong pumasok ‘yung taong ‘yun sa kotse tapos pumunta sila sa kailangan nilang puntahan (hotel/motel). Sa tingin mo, noong tumawag siya sa chika babes niya, naisip ka ba niya noong panahong ‘yun? So, this one, NO! Case closed tayo riyan,” katwiran ni Xian.

Sa tagal naming nakilala at minsan nakakapanayam si Xian ay ngayon lang namin nalaman ang tungkol sa kanya at kung paano siya humawak ng isang relasyon. Kaya pala ang tagal na nila ni Kim at ni minsan ay hindi lumabas sa publiko na nag-away sila dahil inaayos nila ito ng tahimik. At higit sa lahat, pareho silang hindi nali-link sa iba kaya walang isyu.

‘Yun nga lang, sa tagal ng relasyon ng KimXi ay hindi pa nila napag-uusapan ang kasal base na rin sa pahayag ng aktres nang makausap siya sa virtual mediacon ng digital movie niyang U-Turn na kasalukuyang palabas ngayon KTX.PH.

Reggee Bonoan