Lomodic na harbatera, mega scared na!

Hahahahahahahahaha! Nakatatawa naman itong cheap na tabachingching na harbatera na ang chika’y magaling lang daw kaming manglait sa kanya in print pero hindi naman magawang i-confront siya in person.

Really? Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, put a stop to your senseless allegations, Lukresya, because I have proven it many times over that that you’re inordinately scared and apprehensive every time I would write about you and your indiscretions in my well read co-lumns. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Akala ko ba’y matapang ka at every inch fiesty?

If that so, how come you don’t have the bravura to answer me in your cheaply written columns?

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Yuck!

Ano ba naman kasi ang sasabihin mo, aber? Would you have the temerity to nullify every single accusation I have about you? Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Totoo namang ipinagtabuyan mo kasi, in one of your presscons in Annabel’s a couple of years ago, ang nakahahabag na si Kuya Boy C. de Guia who had the good-naturedness to get you as his co-host for Scoop some two decades ago even if you were basically dumb and idiotic (you still are and will always be!Hahahahahaha!)

Ganyan ka kawalanghiya, matronang kuflangera (matronang kuflangera raw, o! Hahahahahahaha! Yuck!).

Ini-level mo lang siya sa mga GAKANG pinalalayas mo sa’yong mga presscons, Ali Baba.

Ali Baba raw, o! Harharharhar!

But God doesn’t sleep and He knows every single demonic thing that you are doing to some hapless people. Like I said, one day, you would no longer be able to move and would become catatonic for life.

Catatonic for life raw, o! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

That is your retribution or bad karma. Hahahahahahahahaha!

So, hinay-hinay sa paglafang, dick-fellating grandma.

For all you know, what’s inside your bloated stomach are vermins that are going to feast on your intestines so that one day, you would just conk out and be forever catatonic. Hahahahahahahahaha!

How so very amusing! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Honey, if that’s not a most fitting comeuppance for some soooo greedy, I, honestly, don’t know what is! Hahahahahahahahahaaha!

MEG IMPERIAL, MEGA EXCITED SA CHAIN MAIL

Makikita pala ng mga tagahanga ni Meg Imperial ang kanyang svelte and gorgeous figure sa soon-to-be-shown movie niya nila ni Nadine Lustre under Viva na Chain Mail na mapanonood na any time this July.

Ang thriller movie na ‘to ang isa sa mga dahilan pala kung bakit nag-diet at nag-workout nang husto ang protegee ni Ms. Claire dela Fuente.

Anyway, di pa raw masimulan ang Ex With Benefits movie nila nina Sam Milby at Coleen Garcia dahil busy pa sa kanyang American Dream ang not-so-young actor.

‘Yun nah!

SOPHIE CEPEDA, IBABAHAGI SA MGA KABATAAN ANG HALAGA NG PANANAMPALATAYA HANGGANG SA HULI

Halaga ng pananampalataya at pananalig sa Diyos ang mga aral na iiwan ng karakter ni Ja-nella Salvador na si Sophie sa toprating drama series ng ABS-CBN na “Oh My G” na nakatakda nang magtapos sa Hulyo 17 (Biyernes).

Simula nang umere ito noong Enero, araw-araw nang namayagpag ang “Oh My G” sa national TV ratings at social media dahil sa kapanapanabik na kwento ni Sophie at sa mga aral na kanyang natututunan mula kay G.

Sa huling tatlong linggo ng “Oh My G,” tiyak mas mahu-hook na ang lahat sa kwento ni Sophie ngayong unti-unti nang mabubunyag sa kanya ang sakit ng kapatid na si Anne (Yen Santos).

Ano ang gagawin ni Sophie kapag natuklasan niya na maaari rin mawala sa kanya ang nag-iisang pamilya na meron siya? Matatanggap ba niya ang kapalaran na itinakda ni G para kay Anne matapos niya itong hanapin ng mahabang panahon?

Huwag palampasin ang huling tatlong linggo ng “Oh My G,” araw-araw bago mag-“It’s Showtime” sa Prime-Tanghali ng ABS-CBN. Para sa kagradagang impormasyon kaugnay ng “Oh My G” mag-log on lamang sa www.abs-cbn.com, o sundan ang @abscbndotcom sa Twitter. Para sa karagdagang updates, mag-log on sa www.abs-cbn.com o sundan ang @abscbndotcom sa Twitter.

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

BANAT – Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.