Hindi pa kompleto ang pagkababae!

NAG-CHANGE na raw ng status ang isang transvestite na nasa States na ngayon. Supposedly, she’s now a woman but one look at him and you will know that he’s not a full woman yet.

Obviously, meron pa rin siyang hindi ipinaoopera at wala pa rin siyang boobsina.

In short, he’s still a man and has never allowed himself to be operated on.

Marahil, scared pa rin siyang ipaputol ang kanyang genitals at magpalagay ng boobs dahil baka mag-regret lang siya later.

Baka mag-regret daw later, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Kung bakit naman kasi nagpipilit pa siyang maging babae gayong he’s better off as a man.

Noong lalaki pa nga siya, marami talaga ang nai-in love sa kanya. As a matter of fact, this brown-skinned bisexual actor was head over heels in love with him, he was deeply hurt when he went on a honeymoon with a young actor almost some two decades ago. Hahahahaha!

But he opted to become a ‘woman’ and that happens to be his tragedy.

Mahihirapan na siyang makatagpo ng true love sa situwasyon niya sa ngayon.

Lagi na, he would be looking for one but it would become highly elusive.

Sino ba naman kasi ang mai-inlove sa kanya sa hitsura niya ngayon na parang panat na pipino whereas he was veritably gorgeous and yummy when he was still a man?

I guess it was a wrong decision to become a ‘woman’ when he was more attractive when he was still a man.

Tingnan mo nga ang hitsura niya at para na siyang panat na pipino. Harharharharharharhar!

Tuyong-tuyo na ang kanyang skin at parang nangangalirang.

Kung wala lang siyang make-up, his projections would be that of a dried prunes. Hakhakhakhakhakhakhakhak!

Anyway, to become a woman happens to be his own decision so let’s leave it like that.

Period!

BIKTIMA NA NAMAN

Pabling talaga itong si Rocco Nacino. Hayan at close kuno kay Sanya Lopez pero ‘yun pala’y may ibang nililigawan.

Pero how true na may ibang nagmamay-ari ng kanyang puso at kamachohan?

Puso at kamachuhan daw, o! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Imagine, from the quite impoverished guy who entered showbiz, he’s now inordinately liquid and oh, so moneyed.

Por que? Saan niya kinuha ang pagiging super liquid niya at mga negosyong bonggaderang tunay?

Well, your guess is good as mine. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Ang asset na maragul… Hahahahahahahahahaha! bow!

‘Yun nah!

MYSTICA’S PREDICAMENT

Kawawa naman si Mystica. Hayan at may problema na naman siya sa kanyang husband na si Kid Lopez.

Slipped disc ang problema at P70,000.00 ang halagang kailangan para ma-fix ito.

Ano ba naman kasi ang nangyayari kay Mystica at sunod-sunod ang kamalasang nangyayari sa kanya?

Sana naman ‘yung mga show promoters riyan ay kunin naman siya dahil she’s still one of the finest entertainers in the country today.

Besides, balik-alindog si Tikay at talaga namang slim na uli at maganda ang hubog ng katawan.

I just hope you guys would realize that she’s still very much around and can give the reigning faves in Tinsel Town today a good competition. Hindi naman kasi nagpi-fade ang ganda ng kanyang boses at may fire at electrifying pa rin ang dating.

So, please give Mystica another chance. Kayang-kaya pa naman niyang umeksena dahil maganda pa siya at plantsadong-plantsado ang pagmumukha.

Going back to Kid Lopez, punta lang po kayo sa face book ni Tikay if you want to lend a helping hand.

Please try to help him.

PLASTIC LANG PALA!

Buong akala naman namin ay magiging smooth-sailing na ang episode namin sa isang malaking recording company dahil the boss went out of his way just to say hi to us. ‘Yun pala, plastikan lang dahil hindi naman nagkaroon ng improvement ang aming episode sa recording outfit na ‘yun.

Puro panghaharang pa rin ng mga empleado niya ang nangyayari at ni isang invitation ay wala kami considering the fact that we are supposedly so close to the boss. Mukhang ang mga demonyong empleado niya ang nasusunod o baka naman may blessing niya.

Baka naman may blessing raw niya, o! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

How so funny! Binati lang pala kami dahil akala niya’y makatitikim siya ng lait from us. Hindi naman namin gagawin ‘yun out of respect sa kanya na naging mabait naman sa amin before pero ngayo’y nakinig na sa mga barubal niyang empleado kaya hindi na kami nai-invite.

Well, it’s his funeral, not ours! Sige, pagbutihin n’yo lang mga barubal na empleado ng recording outfit na ‘yun ang panghaharang sa amin. Baka dumating ang araw na mag-flop ang mga recording ventures ninyo for all I care!

I’m just going to wait na hambalusin kayo ng bad karma. I have this feeling that it won’t be long and you’re going to experience how it is to experience bad karma. Hintay-hintay lang mga demonyo. Tiyak na darating ang bad karma at hahambalusin kayong tiyak.

‘Yang mga hitsura ninyong ‘yan na mga isinumpang bakla ang category, I’m pretty positive na wawalisin kayo sa music industry.

Nakapandidiri ang kabaklaan n’yo. Mga demonyo kayo at mga ganid.

I’m just going to wait for bad karma to come knocking at your door.

Malapit na mga ganid na bakla. Hintayin n’yo na lang. Pasasaan ba’t magtatapos rin ang mga panghaharang ninyo.

Mga pangeeeeetttttttt! Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!

BANAT – Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.