Ayaw paawat!

KAPAG napapanood namin on TV ang baklang libogerang ito, we have the impression that hed like to fellate every attractive man that he gets to meet. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Sobra ang elya factor ng ‘di naman kagandahang bakla at parang hangap na hangap sa ratbulites.

Hangap na hangap daw sa ratbulites, o! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Kung sabagay, he seems to be making up for lost time.

Dati kasi, dahil sa mukha siyang tikbalang, (mukha raw tikbalang, o! Hahahahahahahahaha!) ‘di naman talaga attracted sa kanya ang mga lalaki.

This, plus the fact that he was not classy and was so downright cheap, men were pissed off with his appearance. Hahahahahaha!

Kaya now that he is downright loaded, hindi na halos siya natutulog dahil sa kahahada ng mga lalaki.

Dahil sa kahahada raw ng lalaki, o! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Minsan nga nagre-report siya sa kanilang noontime show na ngarag ang itzu at parang hindi pa natutulog. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Wala na talagang main preoccupation ang baklang ito kundi humada nang humada.

Hindi kaya bigla na lang siyang ma-lock jaw?

Bigla na lang daw ma-lock jaw, o! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, ang episode niya, the heart is a lonely hunter.

Mereseng marami na siyang nahahada, when all of them is gone, he feels nothing but emptiness.

Kaya nga mega scared ang baklang itong umuwi sa kanilang bahay at matulog.

Honestly, he is so scared to be alone. Kaya palagi na, kung sino-sinong mga bakla ang kanyang kasa-kasama dahil takot nga siyang mag-isa.

Nakabibili nga naman siya ng mga nota of different sizes (of different sizes raw, o! Hakhakhakhakhakhakhak!) but he can’t afford to buy happiness because it is a commodity that cannot be bought.

‘Di ba naman?

‘Yun nah!

VALERIE AND ATTY. FRED MISON WHAT A COMBINATION!

Comely GNN Manager Lorlyn Garcia-Velarde says they have commissioned winsome Valerie Concepcion and voluble Atty. Siegfred Mison to host ‘Mabuhay Evenings’ because “they have chemistry whenever they are on screen.”

“The youthful exuberance of Ms. Valerie Concepcion, along with the tempered yet sometimes critical eye of Atty. Mison are elements which sets Mabuhay evenings apart from other shows being aired during this time slot. We often watch gruesome anti-drugs killings, and other things which sometimes, lower our expectations about our country.

“It is high time for us to just sit back, relax, and be inspired from the lives of ordinary people being shown at the only feel-good infotainment show on television, Mabuhay Evenings,” says Abaygar in a presscon that was held at Fely J’s Kitchen in Greenbelt Makati, Tuesday.

Anyway, this is the first talk show hosted by Ms. Concepcion and the virile Atty. Mison.

Asked about her hosting experience, Valerie says that she was initially overwhelmed with jitters and nervousness.

“At first, I felt extremely conscious because this is my first time hosting a show like this,” opines Val. “The last time I hosted this kind of show was back in my ‘Willing Willie’ days and that was a game show.

“Mabuhay Evenings is a new thing for me. I get to experience a new kind of show na medyo me pagka-serious naman,” she further elaborates.

Asked if the news circulating around that there’s something special between her and atty. Mison, Valerie merely shrugs if off.

“Fred and I have been friends since we were introduced a year or two ago. We are both Christians,” she adds in earnest.

“Right now, I have a boyfriend and Fred is busy with his work as a senior Vice President of Philippine airlines, among other things. May kanya-kanya na kaming buhay,” she explains.

Anyway, apart from this show, Valerie is being regularly seen in the soap Ang Probinsyano wherein she delineates the role of Agot Isidro’s private nurse.

Atty. Mison, on the other hand, has nothing but praises for Val’s professionalism.

“She seems to be born for this,” he avers. “Valerie is a natural host. And walang kaere-ere. She goes to the set an hour before call time, ready and raring to shoot.

“I agreed to host this show,” he asseverates, “because like millions of us, I felt that Filipinos ought to be inspired whenever they watch television. We at Mabuhay Evenings are trying to redefine the genre in this time slot, and we hope that, in our small way,

we are able not just to entertain but inspire and inform people, that hey! There are hundreds of Filipinos out there who are just doing what they are supposed to do, and in the process, contributing towards nation building,” Mison theorizes.

Napapanood nga pala every Wednesday ang Mabuhay Evenings from 8:10 to 9:10 pm.

WALANG BAKAS NG PAGKA-DIYOSA!

Nakapagtataka namang ang sex symbols sa industriya ay nagiging halos elepante na kapag medyo nagkakaedad na.

Perfect example ang sex symbol of the 70s na noo’y eskalera talaga ang ganda at svelte talaga ang figure at pagkaganda-ganda.

Kung makikita siya ngayon, you are going to be shocked with her metamorphosis.

Kung dati’y mega scared siyang kumain ng deserts at halos kokonting rice lang ang kinakain, ngayon nama’y isang palanggana na yata ang kinakain niyang kanin. Harharharharharharharhar!

No wonder, namumutok na ang kanyang mga pisngi at kay lalaki na ng mga hita’t binti.

Also, her once medium sized, firm breast is now comparable to a volcano that is about to erupt and disgorge lava. Hahahahahaha!

No wonder, men are now out of her system.

Sino pa ba naman ang magkakagusto sa isang dating mala-diyosang sex symbol na ngayo’y fast wasting away into fats. Hahahahahahahaha!

Sayang na kagandahan, elepante na ngayon ang peg. Harharharharharharharhar!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

BANAT – Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.