Sana’y bigyan pa ng break!

EVERYTIME I remember Joy Cancio, I couldn’t help but feel sad for what has become of her once burgeoning showbiz career.

Sa totoo, isa si Tita Joy sa likas na mababait at mapagmahal na talent managers.

Wala ni katiting na bad blood sa kanyang system and I always remember with fondness how she’d given Peter L and I a break at their top-rating GMA show Daisy Siyete.

Looking back, we were given the chance to act at their top rating episode Tabachingching wherein we had the chance to act opposite the very versatile and talented Jopay Paguia.

Hindi ko malilimutan kung paanong binigyan niya kami ng juicy role sa isa sa kanilang episode wherein we delineated the role of a TV host replete with all the props.

Lagi na, kapag may reporters na kailangan sa kanilang show, Tita Joy would always remember us. Maganda na ang talent fee, okay pa ang exposure.

Touching talaga.

But for some reasons, nawala na ang kanyang soap sa TV and we couldn’t help but feel sad.

Sad for the fact that one of the people who believed in our talent is gone and no longer active in the business.

Sad because show business these days is mostly peopled with demons and cavalier individuals who would want to stand in the way of our success in TV hosting.

Isa na rito ang demonyong kalbong TV personality na plastic at deadset talaga sa pailalim na panghaharang sa amin gayong may talent naman siya.

Yosi-kadiri! Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Bakit kaya nagtatagumpay ang ganyang klase ng taong mapangharang at ginagawa ang lahat para huwag umaesenso ang kanyang kapwa?

Mga satanista! Harharharharharharhar!

But I still believe that another Joy Cancio would come along and would give us once again a break in TV hosting that we are truly hankering for.

O baka naman nagpapahinga lang si Tita Joy and she would bounce back with a vengeance once again.

Kumusta ka na, Tita Joy? We missed you a lot and I do hope that one day, you would be back to give us another exposure in your show.

Saturated na kasi ng mga halimaw ang television lately (saturated na raw ng mga halimaw, o! Hakhakhakhakhakhak!) at hirap na kaming umeksena.

Hindi ba naman, Roxy Liquigan na may talent na overrated na Chacha Muchacha na que ogra ang hitsura at tabachingching pa? Hahahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun nah! Harharharharharharhar!

DISTRACTING ANG EFFECT!

Sa tuwing magbabasa kami ng isa sa mga tabloids na sinusulatan ni Crispy Patah, hindi talaga namin matapos ang aming ginagawa dahil distracting para sa amin ang mala-Poke Mon na picture ni Bubonika. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Akala naman siguro niya ay sinisiraan lang namin siya. Ang hindi niya alam, mas maganda pang ‘di hamak ang kanyang hitsura noong bago pa lang siya sa Juicy dahil may contour pa ang kanyang mukha at takable pang ‘di hamak dahil natural.

Dahil natural daw, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

But lately, it appears to be bloated and her eyes have become roundish and strange-looking.

Roundish and strange looking daw, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Nagparetoke rin lang naman, hindi pa inayos.

Hindi pa raw inayos, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

At any rate, why doesn’t she avail of a liposuction so that she would appear to be on the slim side.

In person kasi, distracting namang tunay ang kanyang itzu with her mega bloated stomach and Pokey Moonish face. Hahahahahahahahaha!

How gross!

Anyway, it’s high time that you take dieting seriously for health reasons, that is.

Aba’y nagkukulay-lila ka na kapag umaakyat ng hagdanan, it is best that you go on a diet.

Intiende? Hahahahahahahahahaha!

NAGSESELOS

Hahahahahahahaha! Dati-rati, wala namang feelings ang tall actor sa kanyang petite na co-star.

Pero nang magsimula nang mag-fall sa iba ang kanyang ka-loveteam, mukhang na-realize ng tall teenage actor na nagseselos siya at may feelings pala siya sa kanyang ka-loveteam.

Ang ending, in-unfriend niya ang young actress sa kanyang instagram account.

Pero sa totoo lang, mas ideal na boyfriend material ang tall guy compared doon sa brown-skinned adonis.

Pa’no, the brown-skinned one is hopelessly gay.

Hopelessly gay raw, o! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Kumbaga, he’s only using the petite teenage actress as a cover up.

As a cover up daw, o! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

How so pathetic! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

IBINENTA NA ANG OLD HOUSE

Nagbabu na pala sa lumang bahay nila si Iza Calzado at nakiuso na rin sa condo living na siyang feel ng mga makabagong henerasyon sa ngayon. Besides, she doesn’t need a big house to live in since she now lives alone.

‘Yung brother naman niya ay padalaw-dalaw na lang sa kanya kaya, practically, solong buhay na siya sa ngayon.

Dream din ni Izang maka-penetrate sa Hollywood kaya lang, she has come to realize that it’s not that easy and money’s needed to be able to do that.

Kaya ngayon, balik na lang siya sa Pinas at mag-iipon muna ng pera bago i-pursue ang kanyang American dream.

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

BANAT – Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.