Hanap sa papang syolbam!

Hahahahahahahahaha! Buong akala siguro nang nakararami ay packaging lang ng paombreng comedian ang kanyang kabaklaan. May asawa kuno siya at mga anak. Pero ‘yun pala ay talagang isinumpang bakla off cam.

He doesn’t go for the obvious pahada type. Marunong siyang pumili ng ombre. ‘Yung mga tipong probinsiyano pero may dating at daks ang  tarugs.

Daks raw ang tarugs, o! Harharharharhar!

Kaya happy siya sa kanyang sex life unlike most gays in the business who are definitely miserable and at the mercy of the men they are falling in love with. Hakhakhakhakhakhakhak!

Kung ano’ng nilandi-landi niya on cam, doblehin mo ‘yun off cam. Baklitang-baklita talaga ang TV personality na okay lang naman sa kanyang papang probinsiyano na laman dati ng mga bikini open.

Laman daw dati ng mga bikini open, o! Hakhakhakhakhakhakhakhak!

But contrary to some faggots who are working so hard for their papa’s upkeep and yet not being given the treatment they deserved, our lola vaklita is the queen in as far his paramour is concerned.

Never na lumaki ang ulo at sunud-sunuran sa mga gusto ng kanyang mama.

‘Yun nga lang, todo-suporta naman ang vaklushi sa lahat ng kanyang mga gastusin. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

SUPER SLIM AND SEXY

Nakita namin, up close and personal, si Bangs Garcia sa presscon ng Star Cinema movie Dukot featuring Enrique Gil in the lead role.

Hindi namin masyadong maintindihan ang flow ng kuwento at kung ano ang participation ni Bangs rito but it tells of the story of a son of a rich government commissioner whose family goes through hell when Carlo (Gil), who is estranged from his father, is kidnapped.

Lead character siyempre si Enrique Gil who is one of the most sought after actors of ABS CBN. Imagine, siya lang naman ang leading man ni Liza Soberano sa top-rating teleseryeng Dolce Amore.

Going back to Bangs, mukhang desidido siyang i-maintain ang kanyang svelte body dahil nang makita namin siya noon sa presscon din ng isang Star Cinema movie ay nagulat kami sa kanyang very svelte body.

Anyway, mukhang siya ang leading-lady ni Enrique rito dahil magkalapit ang kanilang edad.

Anyway, ang macho at super guwapong si Direk Paul Soriano ang direktor ng movie and with him around, you can be sure that this is another quality pic he is going to share to the movie going public.

Incidentally, it’s going to hit cinemas all over the country starting July 13.

Try to see it. I guess it’s an interesting movie to watch.

HINDI NAGKAMALI SA TINULUNGAN

Hindi nagkamali ng tinulungang kandidato si Mama Guy sa nakaraang eleksyon. Hayan at si Senator Grace Poe pala ang sumagot sa hospital bills ni Buboy Villamayor bago pa namayapa.

Tumulong din ang kanyang pinsang si Maribel Aunor at siya ang nagbigay ng paglalagakan ng bangkay ni Buboy sa Loyola Memorial Park.

To top it all, ginawan naman ng paraan ni Portia Ilagan para magkasundo-sundo na finally sina Ian, Lotlot at si Ate Guy.

Suffice to say, Nora is definitely at peace now with the world.

Huwag na rin intrigahin ang pagmamahal niya kay John Rendez dahil may kanya-kanyang pamilya na ang kanyang mga anak, Ate Guy definitely deserves to find her own happiness.

Hindi man naiintindihan nang nakararami ang kanilang relasyon ni John Rendez, sapat na sigurong malamang the guy has been able to give Ate Guy a different kind of fulfilment and happiness.

If only for that, sapat na siguro ‘yun.

Maliwanag?

‘Yun nah!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

BANAT – Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.