Nangangalumata na si kaplog bateh!

Hahahahahahahahaha! Kung dati’y bubbly and soooo taba nitong si Buruka Andita, lately, a lot of people are beginning to notice how she has become a little bit svelte.

Kumbaga, nabawasan ang nag-uumalpas na bilblash nito at ‘di hamak na mas balyena na sa kanya ngayon si Fermi Chakitah. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Why is that so?

Well, dinidibdib siguro ni Buruka ang pagkatigoksi ng kanyang Kaplog-Bateh portion dahil malaki nga naman ang harbat doon ever.

Malaki raw ang harbat doon ever, o! Hakhakhakhakhakhakhak!

Well, management decision ‘yun kaya walang magagawa si Andita.

Buti nga!

Buti nga raw talaga, o! Harharharharharhar!

Anyway, mukhang nawawala na ang angas at demonic attitude ni Burukita lately. Magmula kasi nang masulat ang ginawa niyang pang-i-scam sa presscon ni Mayor Erap, pinandirihan talaga siya ng working press.

Ang tanda-tanda na raw kasi, hindi pa rin nagbabago ang dupang at iskamerang matanda.

Iskamerang matanda raw talaga, o! Harharharharharhar!

Well, mang-scam na naman siyang muli at lait na walang patumangga ang kanyang matitikman hanggang matuto siyang mahiya at magpakatao.

Nakasosorang ang tanda-tanda na pero ‘di pa rin magtika sa kanyang mga kasalanan.

Aba’y sitenta na yata ang burukang ito pero wala pa rin pagbabago ang sakim na kaswapangan.

Yuck!

Nakahihiya ka!

Magbago ka na, noh? Baka one of these days ay bigla ka na lang kalbohin ng mga GAKA, ikaw rin.

Kalbohin daw ng mga GAKA, o! Harharharharhar!

Kumusta na nga pala si Madam What’s Her Name ba? Di ba may konek kay Belo ‘yun? Why don’t you ask some diet pills so that your bulging tummy would at least be lessened? Hahahahahahahahaha!

Si Bhoy Navarette, bakit hindi mo na siya kilala harangerang kups? Di ba noong late 80s ay harang to death ka roon para huwag akong kuning PR?

Demonya kang matanda ka, gamitera kang tunay.

Yuck!

Kasukaaaaaaaaaah!

Yosi-kadiri!

Ingat, baka one of these days ay bigla ka na lang mahimatay at maging catatonic afterwards.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Ingat, bruhilda. Bawas-bawasan ang kalalafang at kaswapangan.

‘Yun lang!

FABIO IDE’S BIGGEST ROLE TO DATE!

Nakatutuwa namang malamang active na namang muli ang fave sexy actor naming si Fabio Ide.

He’s Gabriel Antonioni, Joey’s (Ken Chan) Fil-Italian pen pal who’s going to be the love of his/her life at the afternoon sudsy Destiny Rose that’s slated to premiere on September 14 right after Buena Familia at GMA’s Afternoon Prime.

Anyway, this is Ken Chan’s biggest role to date. Marami talaga ang ginulat niya when he participated in a series of auditions and was able to deliver a string of thrilling and riveting performances all thoughout.

Making him a perfect shoo-in for the role of Joey Flores Vergara who is a woman trapped in a man’s body.

A passionate student and a loving son to his family, Joey will go through different setbacks in life but will persevere and continue to be patient and understanding.

For more of him/her, his family, his colorful lovelife and eventually, the fulfillment of his wish to be a woman with the man of his life Fabio Ide (Rosauro), do watch Destiny Rose starting September 14 on GMA Afternoon Prime. It’s an experience that you truly are going to cherish and love.

Kasama nga pala rito sina Manilyn Reynes, Joey’s loving mom, Michael de Mesa as Rosauro Armani Vitto, a rich philanthropist who will be instrumental in Joey’s transition as the woman he has always dreamed to be, Jackielou Blanco, Katrina Halili as Joey’s ambitious cousin Jasmine Flores, Sheena Halili as April Rose Vergara, Joey’s kind-hearted sister, Jeric Gonzales as Vince, Joey’s first love, Joko Diaz, Irma Adlawan, Ken Alonzo and affable JC Tiuseco as Lance, Jasmine’s boyfriend and accomplice in deceiving Gabriele.

PARANG NAGPAPALIT LANG NG UNDERWEAR KAPAG NAGPALIT NG BOYFRIEND!

Hahahahahahahaha! Ibang klase ang ganap ng chick na ‘to in as far as her boyfriends are concerned.

Dahil bata pa siya, sariwa, matalino at maganda, she’s oozing with confidence and seems not so keen in maintaining a lasting relationship with the men in her young life.

Hayan at grade seven palang siya ay tipong nagbibilang na ng boyfriend but she appears not to acknowledge the fact that she happens to be a veritable playgirl at so young an age.

Lately, naging usap-usapan na naman ang kanyang intimacy with this gorgeous looking dude who’s into this love team thing with this charming young actress.

At dahil aware naman ang huli sa man grabbing episodes ng bratte nilang ito, deadmahang umaatikabo ang nangyari nang magkasama sila sa isang show ng network sa abroad. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Hitsurang halos magkatabi lang daw sila pero parang walang nakikita ang isa’t isa. Hahahahahaha!

Natural lang namang mairita ang sweet-imaged young actress dahil parang nakabababae nga naman ang coquette actress dahil hinipat (hinipat daw, o! Harharharharhar!) ang kanyang ka-loveteam.

Buti na lang at masunurin ang young actor sa kanyang manager mereseng mahilig siya sa mga playtime episodes with other actresses.

Playtime episodes raw talaga, o! Hakhakhakhakhakhakhak!

Anyway, parang balewala lang sa sophisticated young actress ang magpapalit-palit ng boyfriends.

Hayan at hindi pa nga nagtatagal ang scalding dating nila ng good looking matinee idol, hayan at busy na naman siya in dating this new dude who’s got this reputation or image of being a gigolo.

Meaning, a guy who loves to extort money from the women he gets to have an intimate relationship with. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun nah!

DALAWANG KARAKTER NI JULIA SA “DOBLE KARA”

MAGTATAGPO NA NGAYONG BIYERNES! Magaganap na ngayong Biyernes (Setyembre 11) ang pinakahihintay na pagtatagpo ng dalawang karakter ng Royal Prinsesa ng Drama na si Julia Montes sa mas umiinit na afternoon drama series ng ABS-CBN na “Doble Kara.” Matapos mawalay sa isa’t isa nang maraming taon, matutupad na ang matagal nang hinihiling ni Kara (Julia) na makita muli ang kanyang kakambal na si Sarah (ginagampanan din ni Julia) mula nang umuwi siya galing Amerika. Paano magbabago ang buhay nina Kara at Sarah sa muli nilang pagtatagpo? Maibabalik pa ba nila ang dati nilang samahan matapos nilang lumaki sa magkaibang pamumuhay? Huwag palampasin ang paghaharap nina Kara at Sarah sa “Doble Kara,” ngayong Biyernes, pagkatapos ng “It’s Showtime” sa ABS-CBN Kapamilya Gold.

Para sa karagdagang impormasyon kaugnay ng programa, bisitahin lamang ang official social networking site ng Dreamscape Entertainment Television sa Facebook.com/DreamscapePH, Twitter.com/DreamscapePH, at Instagram.com/DreamscapePH.

Samantala, maaari na rin panoorin ang full episodes o past episodes ng “Doble Kara” gamit ang ABS-CBNmobile. Pumunta lamang sa www.abscbnmobile.com para sa karagdagang impormasyon.

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

BANAT – Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.