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BANAT – Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.

Hahahahahahahahaha! Poor cheap Harbatera. Dinilaan niya ang lofty pronouncements niyang never na raw siyang a-attend ng mga press conferences specially so when I would be in attendance. Is that soooooooo?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Amusing talaga itong cheap na harbaterang ito na kung makagapang sa maliliit naming pinagkakakitaan ay ganon na lang.

Yuck!Yuck!Yuck!

Imagine, pati ba naman ang guestings namin sa Tunay na Buhay at Ang Pinaka na barya-barya lang naman

ang talent fee ay hinarangan na naman ng matandang asal demonyang ito? Hahahahahahahaha!

As if naman I would go hungry if she’d influence Ms. Salve Asis, Atty. Jhun Nardo, Madam Shirley

Pizarro and Jhun Lalin not to have us invited at their supposedly mega exclusive presscons.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Cheap na balatobang matabang matanda, you can go to hell and finger your clitz for all I care!

Yuck!Yuck!Yuck!

Anyway, a couple of years ago, I was pleasantly surprised when I got invited at Mr. Perry Lansingan’s Christmas party for the press upon the invitation of Mr. Gorgy Rula.

Na-touch naman siyempre ako dahil maganda rin naman ‘yong nai-invite ka sa mga ganitong okasyon since nakatutulong talaga sa ‘yong finances.

But predictably so, when the demonic blowjob queen learned about this, she influenced Gorgy never again to invite us. Hindi naman daw kasi kami nararapat doon dahil GAKA lang kami at hindi naman nakadaragdag sa prestige ng okasyon ang aming presence.

E, sira-ulo ka palang demonyo ka e. Sino ba sa ating dalawa ang mas kapita-pitagan ang pagkataong

satanista ka? Ikaw na baboy sa dilang baboy kung makapangharbat o ako na nagsisikap magtrabaho sa malinis na paraan?

Alam mo, I have this gut feeling that one of these days, you’d simply conked out for no apparent reason and would be catatonic overnight.

Catatonic overnight daw, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

I’m sure!

Very, very SURE!

Anyway, I was simply appalled when I saw her not-so-pleasant persona at the presscon of Asia’s Pop Sweetheart and multi-platinum recording artist Julie Anne San Jose the other day in connection with the release of her newest music video Tidal Wave that was shot in its entirety in the United States.

Hitsura ng pusang sinision sa itzu ng lomodic muchacha.

Lomodic muchacha raw, o! Harharharharhar!

Mukha na naman siyang lost in the dark at obvious na gustung-gustong makipag-usap sa amin.

Go to hell, gurangski.I’m not in the least bit interested to have an audience with someone gross-looking as you are. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, Julie Anne was all excitement as she talked about her experience in filimg Tidal Wave.

“I got to skateboard,” she gushingly stated. “Inaral ko siya before the shoot. Siyempre, malamig dun, tapos naka-jeans at crop top lang ako kaya lamig na lamig talaga ako. Pero masaya kasi I got with a lot of people in great teams, tapos they were so nice to me. Sobrang accommodating talaga.”

Anyway, In Tidal Wave, she is reminded how it feels to have butterflies in her stomach.

“Nag-enjoy akong i-film ‘yong music video,” she asseverated. “And since Tidal Wave is very light, more on kilig. I’msuire maraming makarerelate sa song.”

Going back to Lola Kulebra, (Lola Kulebra raw, o! Hakhakhakhakhakhak!), she is reportedly ha-ving a hell of a time sleeping for fear that she would never be able to wake up anymore.

Hahahahahahaha!Serves you right for being so cavalier and uncouth. Hahahahahahahaha!

NAGISING NA LANG NA POOR NA SI MAMEY

Pity naman for this svelte sexy actress who has just recently gotten married but seems to be very much eager and decided to stage a comeback. How so very amusing that a couple of months back, she was adamant in her pronouncements that doing bold flicks was definitely not one of her priorities.

Dati ‘yon. Things are a lot different now. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Pa’no kasi, hard life society na raw ang ate natin dahil ultimong bahay niya at ilang acquisitions ay kanya ng naibenta dahil very much wanting of cash na silang mag-asawa.

Pa’no, may extended family kunetch si papa at si mama ang may-I-provide ng kanilang mga needs.

This, plus the fact that she had a difficult pregnancy, has practically exhausted the sexy actress’ funds.

Anyhow, mega scared na raw si Ate na baka ma-exhaust na ang kanilang natitirang anda nang walang project na pumapasok na kanilang pagkakakitaan. Kung bakit naman kasi hindi naging wais at nadala sa dakotang nota. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

What a mess indeed she has gotten into.

No wonder, talagang all out ang effort ng ating bida na muling makabalik sa paggawa ng pelikula lalo na’t ang pag-arte lang ang alam niyang way para kumita ng andalucia.

‘Yon nah! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

How so very pathetic!

“COMMAND AND REQUEST” AT MUSIC BOX ON JUNE 26!!!

One of the best musical belters in the country Prima Diva Billy is back. Kinontrata kasi siya ng Club Seven sa Dubai for a year as their main singer sa kanilang club at nagkataon namang Ramadan kaya pinayagan siyang magbakasyon for three weeks sa Pilipinas. Now that she’s back home for a while, she will topbill a small and intimate welcome concert for her at the Music Box (Timog corner Quezon Avenue) this coming Friday, June 26, 2015 at 9 P.M. entitled COMMAND AND REQUEST. Makakasama ni Prima Diva Billy as her very special guests sina Duncan Ramos, Michael Pangilinan, Boobsie Won- derland, Super Pao and Ms. Gladys Guevarra with Ivan Lee Espinosa as her musical director.

Her wide range of repertoire that she intends to belt out at the said include Saan Darating Ang Umaga, Mahal Ko O Mahal Ako, Human, I Will Always Love You, and the most requested of her songs – Loving You, and many more. She will also do a duet with her guests and a lot more.

“July 12 pa ang balik ko sa Dubai to finish my one-year contract with Club Seven. January of 2016 ay uuwi naman ako rito to continue my work here. Ayoko nang mag-extend doon – nalulungkot ako. Mahirap 2ding malayo sa pamilya, ‘no! Kaya habang nandito ako, raket-raket muna para di masayang ang oras. Very happy ako dahil nagkasama-sama ulit kami ng asawa ko who just arrived din sa kaniyang work sa barko and our two children, Raf and Stef. I missed them so much – the same way that I missed singing sa mga shows natin dito,” avers Prima Diva Billy who is the star performer at the club she is booked right nowin Dubai.

This show is ably supported by our dear sponsors and friends like Isabela Gov. Bojie Dy, Vaniderm Specialty Store, Lucida-DS, Hannah’s Beach Resort (Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte), Aficionado Germany Perfume, Joel Cruz Signatures, Mr. Neal Gonzales, Mr. and Mrs. Henry and Lily Chua, Ms. Chaye Cabal-Revilla, Mr. Nixon Teng, Mr. Boy Abunda, Guiguinto Mayor and Mrs. Boy and Precy Cruz, Mayor Lorenz of Biliran, Leyte, among others.

For ticketholders, drink all you can on beers, softdrinks and juices kaya go na, OK? Riot ang show na ito. Promise!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!