Sarah G., huwag na huwag makikipagsabayan kay Angeline Quinto!

 

ni Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.

Akala siguro ni Sarita Geronimo ay carry niyang makipagsabayan sa powerful lung power ni Angeline Quinto poorke’t siya kuno ang pinaka-hot na entertainer of the new millennium. Hahahahahahahaha!

Hot she may be but she’s not the best. Ang komontra right this very minute ay matutulad sa kapangitan ng plastikadang si Fermi Chakah na parang laging may sinusupsup mereseng hindi naman nagsasalita.

Mereseng hindi raw nagsasalita, o! Harharharharharhar!

Kaya ka nawalan ng career lola ay dahil sa amoy burak ang iyong pag-uugali at hindi pleasant ang iyong perosnalidad.

Yuck!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

People now can see through your facade of good-naturedness supposedly when deep inside you’re a bitch of a witch. Hakhakhakhakhakhakhak!

Yucky!

Anyway, going back to Sarita, nagmukha si-yang engot sa production number nila ni Angeline Quinto na oo nga’t hindi sing-sikat niya at sing-classy ang bearing pero Jesus H. Christ! Nilamon-lamon siya sa kanilang production number.

Mabuti pa nga si KZ Tandingan at humataw at narinig ang boses but poor Sarita’s voice had been ignominiously drowned by the sheer force and intensity of Angeline Quinto’s awesome lung po-wer.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Sa totoo, I waited and waited for Sarita’s highlight but it never came.

It never came raw, o! Harharharharhar!

Mag-aral ka uling bumirit, ining.

Kung kelan pa naging mega white at flawless ang iyong skin tone at gumanda ang shape ng dating may kalakihan mong ilongski (may kalakihan daw na ilongski, o! ayaw ni Vicki Belo nang ganyan! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!), saka pa nag-deteriorate ang intensity mo as a singer.

Hindi ‘yan nadadala sa mga hataw mong mala-G Force (is that the name of this group who’s been able to upstage practically all of the existing dance group in the country today?), ning. Dapat din magkaroon kang muli ng birit power.

Ikaw rin, baka gawin kang basahan ni Angeline the next time you have a production number together.

Ahahahahahahahahahahay!

Listen to me and take my advise as a constructive one.

Hindi porke’t sikat ka na at maraming bookings ay magi-ging complacent ka na at daraanin sa pagkembot-kembot ang kakulangan mo sa pagbirit.

No fucking way! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

At least in fairness to you, you have successfully reinvented yourself from your gross personality that reeks with kabaduyan to the somewhat classy dame that you are these days.

Kahit nga ‘yong kakulangan ng dela (dela raw talaga, o! Harharharharhar) mo sa pagsasalita nang Ingles ay unti-unti mo na rin naiko-correct.

Bravo! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Kulang na lang ang iyong birit power dahil mas ginawa mong priority ang magpaka-G Force (mag-paka G Force raw, o! Hahahahahahahaha!) gayong importante rin naman ang belting power ng isang singer.

Intiende?

Intiende raw, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yon lang!

Behave!

Behave raw, o! Hakhakhakhakhakhakhak!

JANINE GUTIERREZ THANKFUL FOR A DREAM COME TRUE

With a growing number of covers in some of the country’s most prestigious fashion and lifestyle magazines, Janine Gutierrez celebrated this milestone by hosting a thanksgiving event that took place last Thursday, May 7 at Green Sun’s SOMA.

The name Janine Gutierrez has been evident all over magazine spreads and online publications, and after successfully concluding her primetime soap last March, she continues to prove that she is more than just an actress and a pretty face.

She has impressed the publications that she worked with and received remarks for being unique, classy, and professional. She delivered mesmerizing photos in magazines and answered interview questions with downright brilliance. Being part of a respected showbiz family, Janine has set her mind on making a name for herself.

At the event, Janine received her guests with a warm smile and took the opportunity to give thanks to the people who have been supporting her since the beginning of her career. As the country’s newest fashion muse, she expressed her excitement on being the cover girl of Preview magazine’s May issue.

“Preview is my first solo cover for a fashion magazine. And super saya nito kasi dream ko talagang mag-cover sa Preview. Siguro parang isa siya roon sa mga bagay na dream lang ng lahat ng babae or like when you were a little girl, ‘di ba?”

Despite this achievement, the GMA Artist Center star remained humble and acknowledged the team that worked hard in supporting her during the photo shoot.

Janine reveals, “Maswerte ako kasi ‘yung team na kasama ko kapag pictorial, sila-sila palagi. Sobrang gaan nila katrabaho, at kilalang-kilala na nila ako. Sila talaga ‘yung reason kung bakit lumalabas na maganda ‘yung mga shoot. I really can’t take any credit for it kasi ‘di ba, kapag shoot maraming pre-prod. May concept, may styling, e darating ka lang naman, so parang ako na ‘yung least na puwedeng mag-take credit para roon.”

Meanwhile, Janine is currently part of GMA Network’s musical variety program, Sunday All Stars.

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampolo- [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasa-bing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!