Kasukang pralaling!

Akala naman siguro ng Ichabud Crane na ‘to na PR ng Bench ay magpapaka-cheap ang friend naming si Peter Ledesma para magka-career kami sa kanilang cheap presscon.

Yuck!

Bigla tuloy namin naalala ‘yong dating head ng PR nang nasabing clothing line na bukod sa appealing na at manly ay grasyoso at malam-bing.

In stark contrast, Bench’s new PR is oozing with delusions and feeling the high and the mighty.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, I’d like to impress on the befuddled head of this not-so-pleasant to look at bisexual that the future of the company he’s working for depends on his good dealings with the press.

Kung ganyang mega ilu ka, Ichabud, you are not proving to be an asset to your company.

Dapat siguro’y malaman ng powers that be na napakataray mo at cold sa press na hindi mo feel at hindi nagsisipsep sa ‘yo.

Bakit naman kasi magsisipsep in the first place?

Duty ninyo ang mag-PR sa press and not the other way around.

Yuck!Yuck!Yuck!

Anyhow, this guy(?) is proving to be a big liability and not an asset to the company he represents and working for.

Magbago-bago ka ng diskarte Ichabod dahil hindi maganda sa company n’yo ang nasusulat in a bad light all because of your obnoxious doings.

Yuck!Yuck!Yuck!

KANDAUGAGA PA RIN SA RAMI NG BOOKINGS!

At a time when most of her contemporaries are now on the throes of death career-wise, Ms. Claire dela Fuente is fortunate enough to be quite visible these days.

Imagine, special guest siya sa Air Supply concert on March 15 sa Solaire Resort & Casino The Theatre, then may part 2 ang kanilang much-awaited repeat ng kanilang The Legendary Jukebox Queen World Tour Concert at the Newport Theatre Resort World Casino on May 9, a Mother’s Day presentation actually.

Effect-effect, ‘di ba naman? Hahahahahahahaha!

Ikaw na ang maging Ms. Claire, the diva for all seasons and reasons!

BINUSOG MUNA BAGO PINALUHA ANG PRESS PEOPLE

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! I’m no hypocrite.

Unlike other press people who don’t have the chutzpa to admit (are you reading this deplorable Fermi Chakita? Hahahahahahahaha! Yuck!) that they attend press conferences for the love of dough, in my case, that is my first consideration.

Bakit naman kasi ako magtitiis na makipagplastikan for an hour or two sa mga taong umaapaw ang kaplastikan from every single pore of their body only to go home empty-handed and ‘weeping’?

Weeping daw, o! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

No fucking way! I’m too old (or is ancient more appropriate? Hakhakhakhakhakhakahak!) for sentiments, for this business that I am into has got no heart.

Has got no heart daw talaga, o! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Well, I take that back. May mga tao naman sigurong may likas na kabutihan but you can count them with your bare fingers.

Karamihan ay mga user. Meaning, when you’re not that useful any longer, they become amnesiacs overnight.

Amnesiacs overnight daw talaga, o! Harharharharharharhar!

Anyhow, Papa Abs and I attended an affair last night that was held in a very classy place somewhere in Ortigas.

Wala kaming masabi sa lugar dahil esekola namang tunay, along with the very mouth-watering foods that were served on the table.

Yummy talaga. Hahahahahahahaha!

Unfortunately, I had the feeling of the impending doom.

Impending doom daw talaga, o! Harharharharhar!

Tulad ng aking gut feeling, inasmuch as I made sure that I would not go home empty handed, the promise of Polyester was not fulfilled.

Was not fulfilled daw talaga, o! Hahahahahahahahahahaha1

No wonder, on our way to the elevator, I was crying profuse tears. Harharharharharhar!

Charge it to experience na lang ever.

But honestly, I just can’t understand the logic behind it all.

Bakit kailangang gumastos nang libo-libo sa mga lafang para paluhain lang ang press?

It defeats the purpose, ‘di ba naman?

‘Yon nah!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

 

ni Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.