Ferminata, pahiya sa pang-ookray kay Kristeta!

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Parang sinampal ang AC/DC (attack and collect/defend and collect..Yuck!) na si Fermi Chakita dahil hindi siya nagtagumpay sa kanyang mga nakaririmarim na mga puna’t bira sa queen of all media na si Kris Aquino. Hayan at parami nang parami ang nakaiintindi sa utol ni Pnoy kung bakit may mga personalidad siyang in-unfollow sa kanyang twitter account.

Unlike Bungalya’s unfounded and utterly biased accusations, Ms. Kris is not in the least bit thro- wing her weight around but is only doing what a wounded sister would do to defend her brother, pre- sident or not!

Palibhasa’y aning-aning na yata sa kawalan ng TV show(dahil sa kawalan daw ng TV show, o! Hakhakhakhak!) kaya out of a deep-seated sense of bitterness, she is lashing out at anyone. Hahahahaha!

Kung bakit kasi hindi na mag-diet para mabawasan ang soooo laking tiyan (sooo laking tiyanetch daw, o! Hakhakhakhakhakhak!) at nang makapagsuot naman ng body-hugging dresses at maging camera friendly in the process?

Camera friendly in the process raw ta-laga, o! Harharharharharhar!

Also, I guess it’s more than about time that Fermi Chaka should avail of the services of a good cosmetic surgeron so that her pugnose should be fixed thereby enhancing her over-all personality.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Dapat malaman ni Chakita na malaki ang magagawa ng isang mahusay na nose job para mabago ang kanyang over-all aura at nang hindi na naghahanap pala-palagi ng anggulo ang mga ca-mera men.

Hakhakhakhakhakhakhak!

Whatever, people from all walks of life are now beginning to comprehend the reason behind Ms. Kris A’s kind of impulsive reactions lately with regard to some showbiz people whom she believes are unjustly ganging up on her outnumbered and beleaguered brother.

Just because Pnoy is the country’s president doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s already Mr. Perfect.

Ang nakababaliw lang, ang kanyang pagkakamali ay masyado naman yatang mina-magnify ng iba riyan.

Hinay-hinay lang naman tayo sa ating pag-criticize sa ating President.

Anyway, going back to Bubonika, kung ma-kabira siya kay Krizzy baby ay para bang beyond reproach ang kanyang character. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Sexcuse me, ‘noh?

Manalamin nga siya at baka mahambal siya sa kanyang makikita.

Baka mahambal daw sa kanyang makikita, o! Harharharharharhar!

Exaggeration aside, all of your miserable existence, you tend to focus your attention solely on your deplorable money-making ventures.

Ayaw ni Mr. Jude nang ganyan. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

At lalong hindi feel ni Pokwang ang mga ganyang eksena lalo na’t nadekwatan siya ng two hundred thousand in a wink of an eye ng nga-ngaerang chaka, tapos kung bira-birahinsiya nito sa kanyang AC/DC column ay para bang wala siyang nagawang kabutihan ever.

Wala raw nagawang kabutihan ever, o! Hak-hakhakhakhakhakhak!

Mag-issue ka ng denial at nakasisiguro kaming kikidlatan ka right this very minute. Hahahahahahaha! Right this very minute raw talaga, o! Harharharharharhar!

Another thing, before you have the bravura to hit other people, why don’t you take a peru-sing look at your exceedingly plain-looking face in the mirror and realize that you’re even a lot worse and rotten than the people you are pontificating about. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Yuck!

Before I end my master piece on you, Cha-kita, please have the initiative to have your dentures changed the soonest! Dahil sa sokpalites na ang pustiso mo, ang impression nang nakararami ay bungal ka, ning. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Magtanim ka na lang kaya ng kamatis sa Parada, Valenzuela city at baka kumita ka pa!

Babetchbetch, lowla! Hahahahahahahaha!

Yuck!

HATAW SA PROMO NG SHOW WITH THE STYLISTICS

Mega proud si Ms. Claire dela Fuente dahil she was personally handpicked by the show promoters of the Stylistics in connection with their pre-Valentine concert at the Solaire Theater on February 13.

Sino ba naman kasi ang hindi makararamdam ng tuwa kung ganyang sa dinami-rami nang mga entertainers sa Pinas ay siya ang napiling maging special guest artist dito?

No wonder, Ms. Claire is busy in promoting their show on national television these days. As a matter of fact, super maaga siyang nagising last Monday para mag-promote sa Umagang Kay Ganda ng ABS CBN.

Speechless raw ako, o! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Well, kaya naman siguro si Ms. Claire ang napiling mag-guest dito ay dahil bukod sa unfa-ding ang lamyos at hagod ng kanyang Karen Carpenter sound-alike voice, she’s also articulate and intelligent and capable of conversing with foreign artists on stage.

‘Yon nah!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

ni Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.