Michael Buble disappoints!

In person, Atty. Ferdinand Topacio happens to be a good-natured, fun loving individual.

His pleasant, cherubic face seems to silently convey his intrinsic good-naturedness and positive outlook in life.

But reading his objective but somehow vituperative review of international singing sensation Michael Buble’s performance in his latest concert at the Mall of Asia Arena has been able to prove that beneath that seemingly harmless facade lies a most keen perception of anything he gets to see.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

Hindi naman kataka-taka since he’s one of the much sought-after lawyers in the country today with clientele that mutely speaks of the kind of intelligence that he’s been enormously gifted with.

Totoo ka, I was guffawing with immense amusement while I was perusing his item on the good-looking Canadian singing sensation that took the country by storm a couple of days ago.

Honestly and without a modicum of exaggeration, the famed lawyer has shown his highly revered wit and intelligence that can very well upstage even the finest minds at the writing profession these days. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

For one, it was written with the sharp vision of an extremely analytical mind and oozes with unadulterated honesty and objectivity that totally floor me.

But then, with Atty. Topacio, one is bound to expect the unexpected. Hahahahahahahahaha!

“No doubt about it,” asseverates the controversial lawyer, “Canadian crooner Michael Buble is good-looking, exudes charm and humor, with sex appeal and stage presence that cannot be ignored.

“He also works hard to connect to the audience,” he points out without mincing any word, “taking pains to talk to random individuals in the crowd, cracking jokes (which are sometimes off-color) and even earnestly mingling with the audience on the way to a second stage at the rear of the MOA Arena, where he proceeds to sing several songs with his front act, Naturally 7, an extremely capable all-male a capella act.

Production-wise, Bubble’s show was allegedly infinitely admirable.

The orchestra, for one, was ‘unbelievably talented’ and the stage production slick replete with sliding stage floors, pyrotechnics and a seemingly never-ending shower of heart-shaped confetti, supposedly successfully mask a middling vocal talent that, if he were to perform in the old Las Vegas of the 60’s, would relegate him to second-tier status.

Did you hear that? Hahahahahahahahaha!

Vinegar, anyone? Hakhakhakhakhakhak!

Suffice to say, Atty. Topacio has but definitely the makings of a super gifted writer who’s very much capable of upstaging even the reigning hot broadsheet columnists of today’s gene-ration with his well-articulated statement and ri-veting points of view.

Anyway, the more discriminating people who supposedly grew up on a steady diet of Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis and Tony Bennett records, and who caught the tail end of the Rat Pack days via viewings of the Dean Martin Show on local television in the early to mid seventies, Buble would be nothing to write home about.

Wow Isn’t that something too deleterious to digest? Hahahahahahahahaha!

And for serious students of jazz singing suposedly who listen to Mark Murphy, Ben Sidran, Jon Hendricks, or more recently Giacomo Gates and Kurt Elling, to name a few, Buble would certainly be No Big Deal. For Buble, who supposedly packages himself as the Continuation of Cool, the heir to the unflappable, relaxed devil-may-care attitude best exemplified by Martin, is but a poor copy of any Rat Pack member, even when they were aging. One needs only to view videos of Sinatra, Martin or Davis (or better yet, all three together) to confirm this observation.

Still according to the famed legal counsel, Buble possesses none of the tonal gravitas of Sinatra, the vocal power coupled with the melodic nuances of Davis, or even the playful insouciance of Martin who, upon repeated listening, will reveal a mastery of musical deftness that is not immediately obvious. And if it is command of the idioms of jazz singing that you seek from Buble, you will be sorely disappointed.

“To be sure,” he says in earnest, “Buble is competent, but he sings with little emotion, and apart from the usual styling mannerisms, he exhibits none of the improvisational skills of a true jazz artist. In fact, his repertoire is a mixed bag of swing standards, Tin Pan Alley evergreens, retro pop and the usual Motown suspects. He tries to be everything to everyone within his target demographic, the well-heeled 40 to 60 year old crowd. The songs he sang in Manila, with very little variation, are the same songs he lately sings everywhere in the world,” further acidly opines Topacio.

Simply stated, Atty. Topacio writes that if it is entertainment you want, Buble is your man.

But if you’re looking for more textured and complex vocal jazz renditions, he cavalierly suggests that you look elsewhere.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

How so very candid and smart.

ni Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.