Hitsura ng aswang!

ni  Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.

MORE than 25 years ago, this vampy chanteuse was oozing with electrifying appeal.

She was of medium height but her body was ripened to perfection and was definitely the fantasy of most hot-blood Filipino males.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

At a time when contact lenses were not yet in vogue, her brown eyes were a rarity.

In short, she was really beautiful and infinitely attractive in a doll-like manner.

In short, she was indeed enthrallingly seductive. A real vampy creature with her luscious lips, liquid, sleepy eyes, full breasts and curvaceous body.

But more than two decades hence, her metamorphosis is inordinately shocking, in the few occasions that we would see each other, I just didn’t have the gall or temerity to look at her ravaged countenance.

Inasmuch as her body’s still svelte and curvaceous, her face has become ravaged with time and no longer the luscious, inviting countenance that she used to project way back during the early 80s.

Jesus H. Christ! What a horrendous metamorphosis if I may say so.

Sa halip kasing gumanda siya with the series of enhancements that she has gone through, parang na- wala talaga ang kanyang innate charm at naging aswangic (aswangic daw talaga, o! hahahahahahaha!) na siya ever. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Nitong huling guesting na nga lang niya ay talaga namang shakira to the max kami, hindi na lang namin siya pinanood sa tindi ng pagka-shock sa kabaliwang ginawa niya sa kanyang kagandahan.

Overrrrrrrr!

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Okay na kasi ang ilong niya noon, pinagalaw at pinaayos pa.

Even her once luscious hair has now become dry and stringy.

So very pathetic talaga.

“But in fairness, the sultry voice is still there in all its haunting glory.

‘Yun nga lang, wasang ka na lang pagka-look sa fezlak. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

Hakhakhakhakhakhakhak!

SIR EDGARD, ALL OUT ANG SUPPORT SA BUDDING PAINTER NA SI KENNETH JOHN MONTEGRANDE

Iba talagang magmahal sa isang kaibigan itong si Sir Edgard Cabangon.

Imagine, right after na magkaroon ng blockbuster na painting exhibit sa Citystate Tower Hotel ang promising painter na si Kenneth John Montegrande, some two days back, sa pabolosang Manila Grand Opera Hotel naman, that’s strategically located at Doroteo Jose cor Rizal Avenue, Sta. Cruz, Manila, kanyang inirampa ang simpatiko niyang kaibigang artist.

Objectively speaking, the way I look at Kenneth, maganda ang dating ng kanyang paintings dahil napaka-colorful nito at very pleasant to look at.

Maybe in due time, he’s going to become a byword in the business.

That, I’m very much positive about.

‘Yun na!

BROADCASTER NAG-NONOSTALGIA NA LANG SA BAHAY!

At least si Fermi Chakita, once na matigbak sa ere ay can afford to live in unadulterated luxury.

Sa rami ng kinita niya at naharbat sa show business, (Hahahahahahahahahaha!) can afford siyang mamuhay nang masagana.

Imagine, nakapagpundar na ang ngangaerang chakita (ngangaerang chakita raw, o! Hahahahahaha!) ng i- sang ancestral home sa probinsiya at in all fairness, gandarang tunay ito.

On top of that, bonggacious rin ang kanyang fleet of cars na nakaparada sa kanyang gandara ring haybol sa Parada, Valenzuela city.

Indeed, if liquidity is going to be the basis for one’s opulence, she is veritably liquid and rich.

‘Yun nga lang, almost zero ang kanyang love life dahil tipong walang ombaw na magkagusto sa kanya mereseng datungera siya dahil sa mukha niyang korteng inidoro.

Mukhang korteng inidoro raw, o! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

Pero itong personalidad na aming ikukwento sa inyo ay tunay namang kahabag-habag ang pamumuhay sa ngayon. Hindi naman siya actually naghihirap dahil napag-aral naman niya ang kanyang mga anak at lumaking matatalino ring tulad niya pero kung liquidity ang pag-uusapan, wala na siyang talaga dahil bukod sa jobless na at the moment, wala pa siyang naipon dahil likas na babaero.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Araw-araw, wala na raw itong ginawa kundi mag-nostalgia at balikan sa alaala ang kanyang eskalerang radio and TV hosting career some two decades ago.

Ang sabi, hindi rin daw kasi naging madala ang pag-uugali ng iconic na personalidad na ‘to kung kaya biglang dinapurak ng bad karma.

How so very sad!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!