Humina ang kita nang lomobo!

Hahahahahahahahaha! Honestly, we would guffaw non-stop every time this former hunky dramatic actor’s colorful existence would enter our mind. Nakatatawa naman kasi ang mga na-ging episodes niya with some moneyed gays and loaded matronas. Hahahahahahahaha!

Dati talaga, in demand siya sa mga clavings at ang lakas niya talagang kumita.

Pero nang magka-edad at malaglag ang ese-colang katawan ay biglang nawalan siya ng ‘career.’ Hahahahahahahahaha!

At the peak of his hustling career, chicken feed sa kanyang kumita ng 300 to 400 grand in one churvahan session with his cool and opulent gay clientele. But the passing of years has made him less the hunky man that he used to be and as an end-result, they started looking at the direction of younger and hunkier studs who are more capable of giving them the kind of excitement that they veritably hanker for. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Suffice to say, kahit ang mga matronang nagtitilam-tilam sa kanyang sooo haba and oh-sooo-tabang tarugs (sooo haba and sooo tabang tarugs raw, o! Harharharharhar!) ay wala na rin weather with the advent of younger and fresher dicks (younger and fresher dicks raw, o! Hakhakhakhakhak!).

Bukod kasi sa nagkaedad na, medyo nakakalbo na siya lately at protruding na ang kanyang tiyan.

Numipis na rin ang kanyang buhok kaya nabawasan na ang kanyang arrive.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

How so very pathetic!

To top it all, nabawasan na rin ang stature niya sa industriya at hindi na siya leading man material (with his lomodic appearance, no one would be interested naturally to ogle at his sagging and corpulent flesh. Hahahahahahahahahaha!) unlike before when he would be delineating no less than lead roles and major support was definitely repugnant to him.

Well, ganyan talaga. Kanya-kanyang panahon lang ‘yan.

Ngayon ay hot papa ka, only to wake up one day a pathetic has been.

Sad, di ba naman?

‘Yun na!

BASEMENT NI TOFFEL LEE,  ANG TINDI NG ARRIVE!

I’ve been hearing positive things about Toffel Lee, the gifted directors of remarkable indie mo-vies, who specializes in making horror flicks that tends to scare you shitless.

Itong latest na obra niyang Basement featu-ring the seductive Ellen Adarna in the role of the metallic manananggal (If there’s such a thing as that) is so meticulously made and directed, it keeps you riveted to your seats from beginning to end.

Magagaling ang mga aktor dito at talaga namang walang ham actor na maituturing.

But I was particularly impressed with Kevin Santos who looks chubby off-cam and kind of funny but on cam, he projects raw machismo.

Ang galing-galing niya at mhin na mhin ang dating.

Ikaw na pareng Kevin. You’re the man! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Bongga rin ang appearance rito ni Dex Quinosa (a dead ringer of Jake Cuenca) at nai-project niya talaga nang buong husay ang takot na inire-require ng kanyang role.

Magaling din siyang pomorma as you can very well see in a photo somewhere in this spread.

As a whole, super enjoy kami sa movie lalo na’t si Betong na ang umi-eksena with Ellen Adarna’s half body. Hahahahahahaha!

Moving para sa amin ang performance ni Mona Louise Rey na talaga namang maintained ang intensity ng kanyang acting from beginning to end.

But credit should be given to its director Toffel Lee for he’s the one who made the movie really interesting and worth watching.

Kaya mga guys, please do watch it as it opens in cinemas all over the country on February 12.

It’s one movie you should not miss!

Ang ganda, promise!

ENJOY YOUR VACATION  MY DEAR MALOU

Globe trotter talaga ang kaibigan naming si Malou Dizon Toda na wala na yatang ginawa lately kundi mag-tour sa America (based sa Los Angeles kasi ang older brod niya kaya roon sila tumutuloy ng mister niyang si Manabu Toda) at iba pang bansa sa Asia like Singapore, Thailand, among many others.

Lately, umuwi sila ng kanyang mister with their lovely daughter Maiko para asikasuhin ang puntod ng kanyang mga magulang at ng older sis niyang si Beth Sandoval na gumawa rin ng pa-ngalan sa show business bilang leading lady ni Weng-Weng during the mid-80s.

Bagama’t carry nilang magliwaliw sa iba’t ibang parte ng mundo, for some sentimental reasons, mas feel ni Malou na sa Pinas mag-unwind dahil dito nga naman ang kanyang roots.

Enjoy your vacation my dear. I-maximize mo ang three days na off mo sa trabaho para sulit.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.