Mukha ng hiladong tilapya!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Super ngarag na ang dati-rati’y reyna ng katarayan (hitsura ng hiladong tilapya raw, o! Harharharharhar!) at andalu na si Hinghing Abno na sa tuwing sight-galore namin sa mga presscons ay para siyang nasa lost horizons. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Sanay kasing siya ang nanlalait kaya ‘di niya carry na the table has been ignominiously turned against her. Hahahahahahahaha!

Pero dahil barubal, harbatera at harangera, mamatay siyang dilat.

Mamatay raw nang dilat, o! Hakhakhakhak-hakhak!

‘Yan ang napapala ng mga taong mahilig mang-down ng kapwa at ayaw na umangat sila at magka-career.

Kunwa-kunwari, may ceasefire muna at pahihingahin ka sa kanyang mga yosi-kadiring panghaharang.

Pero kwidaw, kapag binati mo na at hindi na binabanatan sa iyong columns, resbak na naman ang kanyang nakaririmarim na panghaharang.

Yuck!yuck!yuck!

Kaya sige, maglaitan tayo to your evil heart’s content.

To Hinghing Abno’s evil heart content daw, o! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Magdusa kang barubal na matanda ka dahil hindi na kami titigil sa kapupuna sa nakaririmarim mong gawain, ‘yung yosi-kadiring panghaharang mo sa mga GAKAs in particular.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Magdusa kang lomod ka! Harharharharharhar!

Sa totoo, Hinghing na matanda Abno’s vituperative ways happen to be one of the reasons why Kuya Boy de Guia had decided to vanish from show business. Hurting nga namang magkaibigan at contemporary sila sa writing industry pero nang mawala ang ningning sa industriya no’ng tao, parang baboy kung ipagtabuyan niya sa kanyang exclusive kunong presscons.

Yuck!yuck!yuck!

Looking back, Kuya Boy was crying bitterly when Hinghing Abno shooed him away from one of her presscons. Isinumpa talaga niya ang ga-hamang matanda na mararamdaman din suppo-sedly ang pait na ipinaramdam sa kanya.

Kunsabagay, wala ka namang atay at balun-balunan, wrangler na gahaman sa salapi.

Wrangler na gahaman sa salapi raw, o! Hakhakhakhakhak!

‘Yun lang!

ATTY. TOPACIO, THE HOTTEST LAWYER IN TOWN!

Kung mayroon mang pinaka-in na lawyer sa ngayon, there is no doubt that it’s none other than Atty. Ferdinand Topacio. Lahat yata ng may sinasabing personalidad sa lipunan ay siya ang kinukuha dahil sa kanyang kredibilidad at know-how in defending his clients in court.

Ang maganda pa kay Atty. Topacio, he doesn’t have the swagger of most lawyers in his highly esteemed league.

Napaka-down to earth niya and so nice to be with and get along with.

For someone who’s a five-star lawyer, napaka-approachable ni Atty. Topacio at walang kaere-ere sa katawan.

No wonder, much sought-after siya at lahat halos ng mga kilalang tao ay gustong siya ang kuning legal counsel nila.

Ikaw na, Atty. Ferdinand Topacio, at wala nang iba pa.

BAGAY NA BAGAY!

Malakas ang kilig factor ng pinakabagong tambalan ng GMA7 na sina Marian Rivera at Alden Richards sa soap na Carmela na mapanonood na starting January 27 sa GMA Telebabad.

Alden delineates the role of Yago, the winsome and infinitely smart grandson of Fernando (Roi Vinzon) and Fides (Ms. Laurice Guillen) whose only wish is to find someone who’ll love and accept him for what he truly is, flaws and all.

His beliefs in life will have a dramatic change the very moment he gets to meet the hauntingly beautiful Carmela (Marian) who’ll show him a different perspective in life.

Kasama sa eskalerang soap ng GMA ang unfading beauty na si Agot Isidro in the pivotal role of Carmela’s mom, Raymond Bagatsing, Jennica Garcia, lovely Rochelle Pangilinan, among many others.

The soap is under the competent direction of Dominic Zapata.

Speaking of Marian, nang i-preview sa working press ang trailer ng Carmela, the working press were convinced that GMA did have ano-ther veritable winner.

Capture na capture kasi ang innate beauty ng aktres na super fresh talaga at lalo pa yatang gumaganda as time goes by.

In most of her scenes with Alden, napaghahahalatang meron talagang fire ang kanilang tandem.

Honestly, walang age gap silang maituturing dahil fresh na fresh si Marian as Carmela and delectably pretty as well.

Promise!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.