HATAW! D'yaryo ng Bayan hatawtabloid.com
Sabihin man nilang ang action packed movie ni Robin Padilla ang best movie ngayong 39th MMFF, sa aming unbiased opinion, Boy Golden, the one being starred in by Gov. ER Ejercito and Ms. KC Concepcion, is the best movie of the festival. This is not to say that the 10,000 Hours movie of Robin Padilla is mediocre. It is not. But the mere fact that Gov. ER’s movie did not merit any single major award happens to be a veritable disappoint and most unfair on the part of Scenema Concept people and Viva films as well. Anyway, nakabibilib ang unbiased attitude sa working press ni Gov. ER.
Sa premiere night ng kanyang pelikula sa MOA may ilang araw na ang nakararaan, buong ningning na rumampa ang mga GAKAs but far from being snobbish and cavalier to them, the good-natured Laguna governor greeted them warmly with an engaging smile. Sa tinagal-tagal namin sa show business, sila lang ni Senator Bong Revilla ang nakita naming nagpakita ng unbiased concern sa mga gatecrasher sa show business na kinasusuklaman ni Bulong Halimaw. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Bagama’t all is quiet from the good-natured senator’s camp of late, the working press understand and are most compassionate of his sad plight of late. Totoo ka, sandamukal talaga ang problemang kinakaharap sa ngayon ng mabait na senador kaya ayaw naman siyang abalahin pa ng working press. But honestly, da best ka pa rin Senator Bong and your friends from the press will always love you no matter what happens.
Shifting our topic back to Gov. ER, nakabibilib ang panuntunan niya sa buhay kaya siyento por syentong siksik-liglig din ang dating ng swerte sa kanya lately. Isaksak nila sa kanilang mga baga ang mga awards na ‘yan pero sa puso ng mga taong nagmamahal kay Gov. ER, siya ang best actor and one of the best personalities in the business these days. To be honest about it, simple lang pero may dating ang intense confrontation scene sa pagitan nila ni John Estrada na ipinakita niyang yakang-yaka rin niya ang mga acting ng pinakamahuhusay na aktor sa industriya.
Corrected by!
HALIMAW NA HARANGERA, DI NAGTAGUMPAY!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Honestly, natuwa kami when we received a call late last night further confirming our hunch about the demonic schemes of the ugly beyond belief Fermi Chaka Kuflangera. Fermi Chaka Kuflangera raw talaga, o! Harharharharharhar! Akala siguro ng demonyang gurangski na ‘to ay hindi makararating sa amin ang ginagawa niyang pangha- harang sa amin for more than three years now. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! But her evil doings appear to have reached its abysmal end of late. Hakhakhakhak! Imagine, unbeknown to us, our friends at Juicy did come to suggest when its ratings had plummeted inordinately to take us back. Hahahahahahahahaha! But predictably so, harang to death ang bungalyang gurang na super insecure as always. Super insecure as always raw, o! Harharharharhar! But our friends at Juicy were not deterred with her negative attitude. When Ang Latest was not warmly received, they again suggested our name to be a part of the showbiz oriented talk show but typical of this bungalya, (bungalya raw talaga, o! Hahahahahahaha!) she once again vetoed their suggestion. Harharharharharharhar! Lately though, mukhang the old faggish-looking elderly (elderly raw talaga, o! Hahahahahaha!) has got nowhere to go. If that is not retribution or bad karma, I don’t know what is! Hakhakhakhak! Anyhow, dahil flopzing pa rin ang Police Chorva (Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!) once a month na lang ang appearance ng harangerang gurangski mereseng suoer sipsep siya kay MVP, it’s highly probable that she won’t be given another show that would bank on her talent. That is, if she still has one. Harharharharharhar!
NAMUMUTLA NA NAMAN ANG MUKHANG ANDANG MATANDA!
Hahahahahahahahahaha! Kung dati’y nagbalik na ang sparkle ng personalidad ng gurangis na numero unong anti-GAKA, latey ay mukha na naman siyang pusang putlain. Pusang putlain daw, o! Hahahahahahahahaha! Afraid kasi siyang muling masulat ang kanyang decadent past (decadent past daw talaga, o! Hahahaha!) kaya hindi na naman halos nakapagsusuklay sa mga presscons at ang arrive ay perpetually harassed. Perpetually harassed daw talaga, o! Harharharharharhar! Well, manigas siya. Kebs! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Ang mga tulad niyang ugaling impakta ay dapat talaga nilalait to-the-max just like Fermi Chaka, da gurangis mulmolera. Gurangis mulmolera raw, o! Hahahahahahaha! Anyway, I pity this lomodic kuflangera who is not in any way attractive to men or lenguas. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Mabuti pa nga si Buonika at reyna ng dela-dela pero ang gurangis na ‘to ay wah. Wah daw talaga, o! Hahahahahahahahaha!
Pete Ampoloquio / Peter Ledesma
