Patang-pata na si kuya!

SOMETIME last year when his career was very much on the upswing, this young actor was the paradigm of braggadocio and teeming with self-confidence. ‘Yung girlfriend nga niyang maganda rin naman at handang magmartir sa kanya ay parang pinaglalaruan lang niya at kung laitin niya’y ganon na lang.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Admittedly, he was on top of the world then and was doing one good project after another because the ‘boss’ was his lover. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Konting lambing lang niya habang inooros ito (habang inooros raw talaga, o! Hahahahahahahaha!) at give na kaagad kahit na ano ang kanyang hilingin. Hahahahahahahaha!

Pero nagbabago nga ang panahon.

There came a time when his lover’s fetish has abruptly changed and much to his chagrin, he (the boss) has suddenly favored huge dicks unlike before when his kind of equipment was the one that he liked the most. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Biglang-bigla, nawalan sa kanya ng gana at mas feel na ang mga daks na papa ang kaeksena.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Suddenly, good projects had started to become scarce and elude his way and would now be given to the male newcomers at the network who were taller and better endowed.

Taller and better endowed daw talaga, o! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Doon na nagsimula ang kalbaryo ni kuya hanggang maisipan niyang lumipat sa isang network na noong nagsisimula palang siya ay trip niyang puntahan.

To make a long story short, he was accepted for the people behind it saw some promise in him.

‘Yun nga lang, parang kulang na siya ng pep at parang nawala na ang kanyang self-confidence at appealing good looks.

The last time we saw him, parang wala na siyang kabuhay-buhay at nangangalumata.

Wala na rin ang kanyang dati-rati’y umaatikabong self-possession at parang little boy lost ang kanyang arrive. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Well, sana nama’y makabawi siya para mu-ling magbalik ang tiwala sa kanyang sarili.

How so very sad!

‘Yun na!

GERALD ANDERSON AT HIS PRIME!

Marami ang pinabibilib lately ni Gerald Anderson sa evening soap nilang Bukas Na Lang Kita Mamahalin na pinagsasamahan nila ni Cristine Reyes at ng puede pa sa bagets na si Dawn Zulueta.

Sa totoo, tour de force ang peformance niya night after night kaya naman soaring to high hea-vens ang kanilang ratings.

Ibang klase ang routines na kanyang ipinakikita rito lalo na ang mga pabolosong round kicks na kadalasang kanyang ginagawa. Hahahahahahahahaha!

The soap has also made a wholesome belle out of Cristine Reyes who used to be ignored by the working press primarily because of her ne-gative image.

Anyhow, she seems to have realized her mistakes and has smoked the peace pipe with sister Ara Mina who even came to the press preview of Bukas Na Lang Kita Mamahalin at SM Megamall a week or two ago.

Totoo ka, hot na hot ang soap nina Gerald Anderson na napanonood right after Muling Buksan Ang Puso, another master piece of Sir Deo Endrinal’s Dreamscape.

CLAUDINE TO RECORD AN ALBUM!

Atty. Ferdinand Topacio made good his pro-mise that he’s going to produce an album for Ms. Claudine Barretto. Right now, the controversial actress is doing a CD lite under the strict supervision of the singing lawyer. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Yes, my loves, Atty. Topacio sings like a pro because he is one.

Bata palang siya ay humahataw na siya sa mga cocktail lounges at talaga namang he’s got a melodious voice.

Anyway, we’re happy for Claudine. Dapat naman sigurong mag-unwind naman siya paminsan-minsan para mabawasan ang tensyon na kanyang nararamdaman.

Anyhow, sa rami ng kanyang devoted fans, I’m pretty positive that the album will sell.

Dapat!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.