Tidal wave na kamalasan ang nasalabat ni fermi chakah!

Hahahahahahahahaha! At least, I feel so vindicated. Finally, Bubonika is experiencing the worst kind of bad karma known to man. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Honestly, right after experiencing huge ta-lent fees, she is now back to being practically scrimping for dough since high maintenance ang guranggetch na ‘to. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Kidding aside, veritable has been na kasi si Bobonic, the chakang titanic, (da chakang titanic daw, o! Harharharharhar!) kaya she is no longer being given the chance to host any showbiz oriented program by the network she’s presently working for.

Sino ba naman kasi ang gustong malugi lalo na’t BSL (below sea level mga ateh! Hahahahahaha!) ang kanyang rating?

Below sea level daw talaga, o! Hakhakhak-hakhakhak!

Passe’ na kasi si Ferminata, for who in his right senses, would want to watch a repugnant looking matron on national television mouthing some hackneyed words and terminologies only she and a handful of old people could possibly comprehend and relate to? Hahahahahahahahahaha!

On top of that, she doesn’t know how to take care of herself.

Looking back, nangalisag talaga ang balahibo ng babaeng obese (babaeng obese raw talaga, o! Harharharharhar1 Yuck!) when the ma-nagement of the network she was connected with during that time had imposed that she should wear some body hugging outfits so that they could possibly compete with the bombshell at the competing network. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

These days, what with the kind of obese fi-gure that she has, wearing body-hugging dresses is definitely out of the question.

Out of the question daw, o! Harharharharhahrahrar!

Whatever, during that time when Peter L. and I were her ayudantes, (ayudantes raw talaga, o! HahaHahahahahahaha!) never niya kaming naisipang paimbitahan sa mga presscons sa network na kanyang pinagre-reynahan. Kumbaga, ginagamit lang niya kami nina Peter L. at Abe para samahan siya sa kan- yang nocturnal haunts sa Cowboy Grill na listen to death talaga kami sa mga paborito niyang banda to the point of nausea.

To the point of nausea raw talaga, o! Hahahahahaha!

Exaggeration aside, that’s how Bubonic, the repugnant titanic, operates.

Mangga siya to the max at wala siyang naiisip kundi ang sarili niyang kapakanan.

Tingnan mo na nga lang ang ginawa kay Pokwang na nagbigay na ng two hundred grand para sa kanyang addiction sa online casino at dinamayan pa siya nang mamayapa ang kanyang ina pero ano ba ang napala ng actress-comedienne na kuwela ang reviews sa acting niya sa top-rating soap ng Dreamscape television na Nathaniel?

Nilait-lait lang naman sa kanyang cheaply written columns (cheaply written columns raw talaga, o! hahahahahaha! Yuck!) na para bang walang nagawang kabutihan ‘yong tao.

Kasukah ang impaktang ito.

Yuck!Yuck!Yuck!

Anyway, good karma naman si Pokie dahil bukod sa blooming ang kanyang lovelife (she and her oozing with machismo American boyfriend are doing very much okay, Bubonic! Hahahahaha!), otra vez senorita ang kanyang showbiz career as an actress.

Sa totoo, kwelang-kwela ang tandem nila ni Benjie Paras sa Nathaniel kaya maraming positive feedbacks ang sa kanya’y nakararating.

Inggit ka, Bubonic, da chakitang titanic? Harharharharharhar!

Magtinda ka na lang ng kakawate sa Parada, Valenzuela city at baka kumita ka pa, ning.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Belatsi! Harharharharharharharhar!

Dapat lang!

Ayoko ng pangeeeeeet! Hahahahahahahaha!

Teka, I take that back. Okay lang ang panget kung maganda ang kalooban.

Pronto! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yon lang!

 

CHARIZ SOLOMON AT JERIC RAVAL NASA MARS NGAYONG MARTES

Tutok na ngayong Martes ng gabi para sa essential summer hacks for girls na ituturo ng Kapuso star na si Chariz Solomon sa MARS sa GMA News TV.

Siguradong makatitipid sa home-made summer must-haves na ipapakita ni Chariz kabilang na ang mga homemade hairspray, hair serum, natural hair bleach at maging garter headband.

Makakasama rin sa episode na ito ang 90s action star na si Je-ric Raval kung saan siya magluluto ng kanyang recipe na Dinakdakan Ala Jeric. At bago ang full body weight workout sa Push Mo Mars segment, samahan ang mga hosts na sina Camille Prats at Suzi Abrera na alamin ang iba’t ibang characters o personalities na maaaring makasalamuha sa gym tulad ng the buff, the bro, hopeless romantic, ang maarte, ang siomai na tambay sa steam room at iba pa.

Chikahan to the next level na kasama sina Camille at Suzi sa MARS , Lunes hanggang Bi-yernes, pagkatapos ng Quick Response Team (QRT) sa GMA News TV.

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasa-bing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

 

ni Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.