Andrea Torres, wah feel na second placer lang kay Jennylyn Mercado?

 

Inasmuch as she’s mum about the issue, mega hurting daw talaga si Andrea Torres sa pagiging second placer lang niya kay Jennylyn Mercado. Hahahahahahaha!

Ang chikah, naniniwala raw ang Kapuso actress na mas may K siyang manalo dahil apart from the fact that she’s single and virginal and has never delivered a child, she has purportedly some attributes or qua-lities that Jennylyn is very much wanting of. Hahahahahahaha!

At any rate, unwed mom man si Jennylyn, wala na tayong magagawa dahil siya ang pinili ng majority.

Dapat siguro’y mag-double time pa si Andrea T., sometime next time para sa kanya na mapunta ang FHM title. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, how true na disappointed daw sa looks ni Maria Ozawa sa nasabing event ng FHM na ginanap sa SMX Convention Center, ang mga lengua dahil may discolorations raw ang skin ng Japanese porn star unlike Jennylyn M. who’s absolutely flawless.

Dapat siguro’y mag-Belo rin siya para pumantay ang kanyang skin tone at nang hindi na siya napipintasan ng mga lengua.

Di na raw napipintasan ng mga lengua, o! Harharharharharhar!

Anyway, isa pang disenchanted sa resulta ng FHM ay ang Kapuso actress na si Max Collins na nag-commit earlier na rarampa sa nasabing show peo nag-back-out sa last minute.

Whatever, there are some talks to the effect that FHM’s finances is fast dwindling, baka raw hindi na magkaroog ng ganito pang event in the succeeding years.

No wonder, sa smaller venue na ito ginanap unlike last year, sa Word Trade Center ang FHM party with Ms. Marian Rivera.

KWELA ANG TANDEM

‘Pag hindi rin lang busy, I never fail to watch Dreamscape Television’s Wansapanataym Presents Kung Fu Chinito. Sa totoo, just like everybody else, I enjoy watching Enchong as he delineates his Kung Fu Chinito bit. Bagay na bagay talaga siya lalo na sa episode last Sunday kung saan para makatulong sa pangangailangan ng kanyang pamilya ay ginamit niya ang kanyang magic medalyon para labanan ang resident bully na anak ni Atoy Co, much to the chagrin of the character delineated by Richard Yap who’s the original Kung Fu Chinito.

I’m sorry but I’ve never been good with names but I do know the actors who essay them.

In a matter of speaking, Enchong appears to be the perfect dude to delineate Kung Fu Chinito.

Kapag nakasalamin siya, para siyang nerd but the very moment he changes into his Kung Fu Chinito character, he suddenly exudes authority and agility.

Kay Enchong pa rin, nakatatawa ang paraan niya ng pagbebenta ng tickets para maging successful ang kanyang Detour concert sa Music Museum.

Ang sabi nga ng ilang press people, posible raw na next time around ay mag-Araneta na siya.

Puede kaya?

Puede. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Go, Enchong! Show then what you’ve got babe. Good luck!

GURANG NA’T LAHAT, DUPANG PA RIN!

Hahahahahahaha! Yosi-kadiri talaga itong si Bulungera Kuflangera.

Yuck!Yuck!Yuck!

Imagine, dekada na ang binibilang pero hindi pa rin siya nagbabago sa kanyang cheap na diskarte.

Talk of the town lang naman siya lately dahil sa latest scam na kanyang ginawa kamakailan.

Nakaririmarim talaga ang hinayupak na ito!

Pwe!

Imagine, nagawa lang naman niyang i-manipulate ang pa-raffle ng isang company kung saan karamihan yata sa mga raffle entries ay mga pangalan nilang lahat ng kanyang mga alipore ang nakalagay.

Nakasusukah, di ba naman?

Anyway, isn’t that the height of duplicity? Hahahahahahahaha!

Anyhow, that not something new with this demonic old witch. Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Demonic old witch daw, o! Hakhakhakhakhakhak!

Exaggeration aside, nagulat na lang ang personality na siyang bagong kapamilya ng nasa-bing company dahil iba ang pangalang ipinasa-sabi sa kanya as compared sa nakasulat sa piece of paper.

Harharharharhar! Running true to form lang naman ang gurang na pero ang sama-sama pa rin ng pag-uugaling halimaw. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Anyway, dahil mega scared sa mga lait na kanyang natatanggap courtesy of our columns, kunwari’y meek as a lamb na naman ang emote ng iskamerang matanda.

Iskamerang matanda raw, o! Harharharharharhar!

Presscon after presscon, nakatanghod siya sa pintuan hoping that we would once again be swayed into believing her feigned innocence. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Bago?

No way, highway! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Whatever, tagumpay ang halimaw na matanda kay Jhun Lalin dahil hindi na kami nai-invite ni Peter L. sa kanyang mga exclusive presscons supposedly.

Who, the hell, cares? Harharharharharharhar!

Magkampi-kampi man sila nina Madam Shirley Pizaro (na binubulungan lang naman ni BH in fairness), I am not in the least big affected.

Go! Makinig man kayong lahat sa bampirang si Vavalina Eklatera, the hell I care! Hahahahahahahaha!

Bampirang Vavalina raw talaga, o! Hahahahahahahaha!

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, I’m so used to the rotten ways of this faggish-looking old woman, she no longer affects me in the least bit! Harbatin man niya lahat ng gusto niyang harbatin at i-scam man niya lahat nang gusto ni-yang i-scam, kebs! Hahahahahahahaha!

Basta ako, I will always be on the look out for her demonic manueverings.

Demonic manueverings raw, o! Haahahahahahahaha!

All I’m basically aware of is that Vavalina Mukhang Anda would just conk out one of these days and never recover again from her afflictions.

Never recover again from her afflictions raw, o! Hahahahahahahaha!

That is one thing for sure!

Very, very SURE! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Babu malasadong matanda, I’m sure Taning is but waiting for the opportune time to bring you to his kingdom where you’ll reign as his queen. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

BANAT – Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.