Osla na kaya wala nang pumansin!

Hahahahahahahaha! How so pitiful naman the episode of this hunky actor who once was the rave at the number one network in the country.

Dahil sa super daks (lahing Arabo ba naman kasi..Hahahahahahahaha!) naging flavor of the season talaga siya ever.

Pero sa kasikatang kanyang tinatamasa, may isang taong tinapakan siya at inapi’t inabuso – ang kanyang gay mentor at discoverer na nalugi’t nagsara ang talent management business dahil nahurot sa kabibigay sa kanya ng anda at kada-dala sa abroad sa kanyang pamilya. Hahahahahahaha!

Ang pobreng claving, halos atakehin sa rami ng naghahabol sa kanya at nagbabantang magdemanda.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Pero dahil sa nang-abuso ng kapwa, dinapurak din siya ng bad karma kaya siya naman ngayon ang wala nang career at tipong pinandidirihan na sa network na dati-rati’y pinaghaharian niya.

Kaya dahil desperado na, nagpa-pictorial ba namang hubo’t hubad na but the sad thing is, no takers pa rin. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Totoo ka, once a career is lost, it’s lost forever.

How so very sad!

Kapag nabantilawan ka pala’y wah effect na kahit ang sooo haba and oh-sooo taba niyang tarugs.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!

What a pity!

‘Yun na!

SAM PINTO, FHM’s PRETTIEST FOR ALL SEASONS!

Marami ng naging cover girl ang FHM. But so far, iisa lang ang masasabing nagmarka sa publiko dahil sa kakaibang da-ting ng kanyang personalidad na oo nga’t daring din in a way but her wholesome appeal has ne-ver been diminished.

Magsuot man siya ng medyo revealing swimwears but never did she become cheap like other sexy actresses or starlets.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Kunsabagay, diyan siguro lumalabas ang breeding ng isang tao.

Lawyer lang na-mang de kampanilya ang ermats ni Sam and she grew up under her guidance and care.

Anyhow, hindi man karamihan ang kanyang ad placements pero ito ang klaseng hindi umaalis sa kanya.

Mula noon hanggang ngayon, her commercials have never left her and would assiduously renew on a year to year basis.

Dapat lang!

Anyhow, bagama’t Bubble Gang lang ang regular program ni Sam every Friday sa Kapuso network, never naman siyang nagreklamo dahil meron naman siyang pinagkakakabalahan on the side na mga corporate shows hosting, among other things.

Going back to FHM, nakatutuwang parang identified na sa kanya ang titulong FHM’s Prettiest.

‘Yung iba kasi, pretty lang when heavily made-up. Pero kapag was ng emyas, parang plain at never mong pag-uukulan ng another hard look.

Di ba naman, Bubonika? Harharharharhar!

LOMOD NA K-LESS TV PERSONALITY, DI NA MAPAGKATULOG!

Hahahahahahahaha! With all her money and enormous connections, Kaplog Bate, the mons-ter-like matron, is definitely very much wanting of tranquility, peace and contentment. Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Matrona-to-matrona (matrona to matrona raw talaga, o! Harharharhar! Yuck!) ang guarding na ginagawa niya sa mga projects na interesadong imbitahan kami (very Bubonika Kuflangga if I may so! Hahahahahaha! Cheap na mga lomodic gurangskis! Hahahahahahaha!) Kaya halhal na ang kanyang dela (halhal na raw ang dela, o! Harharharhar!) sa panghaharang.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Very Bubonika Buratsina ever. Harharharharhar!

Kupalistic talaga ang dalawang guranggetch na ‘to, oo! Imagine, they now have all the money in the world and yet their cravings for it seem to be palpably insatiable.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Ganyan siguro ang mga ngetpalites. Deep inside, their insecurity knows no bound.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Kunsabagay, if you have diabolical faces like theirs, what good is money when men are pretty evasive and repugnantly shunning away from you? Hakhakhakhakhakhak!

Evasive and repugnantly shunning away from you. Harharharharhar!

Yuck!

‘Yan siguro ang bad karma ng dalawang chabokanic matronang ito.

Hala! Ipagpatuloy ang nakaririmarim ninyong gawain para pag natigoksi (pag natigoksi raw, o! Hahahahaha!) kayo ay magre-reunion kayo ni Taning.

Magre-reunion daw sila ni Taning, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Dapat lang!

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here.

And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.