Sanggang dikit ang dalawang impakta!

Hahahahahahaha! How exceedingly nauseating! Dahil birds of a feather, fly together, sanggang dikit pala these days ang dalawang chabokang hara- ngerang matrona. Hahahahahaha!) Hayan at sila ang matronang in-charge (matronang in-charge raw talaga, o! Harharharharhar!) sa pag- invite lately sa presscon ng isang kontrobersyal at mabait naman sanang personalidad na ang sabi’y naging bitter sa kanyang naging kapalaran sa isang network kaya nagkalulong na lang sa sugal. Ma-imagine n’yong more than a hundred million of pesos ang na-squander niya at para makabayad ay ini -lit lang naman ang kanyang pabolosang events plane na strategically situated somewhere in the heart of Kyusi. How so very sayang! Anyway, pinagana na naman ng reyna ng scam ang kanyang gimmick kung saan pinanalo kuno ang best friend namin ng 15K. Hahahahahahahahahaha! As if naman I would be dying with immense envy? No fucking way! Harharharharhar! Anyhow, napuna ng isa naming kaibigan na mula nang muling ma-lait, mukhang nawala na naman sa kan- yang sarili ang lomodic na gurangga! Lomodic na gurangga raw talaga, o! Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Naamoy kasi ito ng isang friend namin sa pabolosang presscon ni Gov. ER Ejercito Zirkoh, Tomas Mora -to the other day at amused na natawa talaga ito sa mukhang panis na amoy ng burukang matanda. Mukhang panis na amoy raw ng burukang matanda, o! Harharharharharharhar! Mag-spray ka naman daw, lola, ng iyong fave perfume dahil amoy gaka ka nang tunay. Amoy GAKA nang tunay, raw, o! Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Nga pala, the working press are infinitely wondering why you seem to be in a ‘presscon’ mood again lately. Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Well, nalalait ka na naman kasi kaya hindi mo na naman malaman kung ano ang gagawin mo, lukresyang lomodic gurangga. Lukresyang lomodic gurangga raw, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha! Magdusa ka, kapalistic na harangerang mukhang andang lumba-lumbang matanda! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

‘Yun na!

MGA WALANG KAWAWAANG INTRIGA, DINE-DEADMA!

Palihim na natatawa na lang pala ang lead actress sa top-rating soap na Be Careful with my Heart na si Jodi Sta. Maria sa mga chisms na nagsi-circulate lately na siya’y tesbun na raw. Pati ‘yung eklaboom na her estranged husband is but waiting for any confirmation about her purported pregnancy and he’s allegedly going to sue ay dine-deadma rin niya. Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Inasmuch as they are not on speaking terms yet, to say that they have become pugnacious and bitter with each other happen to be the farthest from the truth.

‘Yun lang!

CONSISTENT SA PAGKA-PABOLOSO!

Every December, Gov. ER Ejercito’s presscon happens to be the much-awaited occasion the working press are avidly waiting for. And last Tuesday, Zirkoh, Tomas Morato was indeed palpably teeming with people who were most enthu- siastic to know what would be in store for them. Hahahahahahahahahahaha! Predictably so, they were not in the least bit disappointed because Gov. ER went out of his way to make every one happy and sated. Talaga namang siya ang nagmana sa pagkapaboloso sa press ng kanyang Tito Erap Estrada. Anyway, nakasisiguro ang press na run-away winner sa box-office at maging sa awards ang Boy Golden na dinirek ng napakahusay na si Direk Chito Roño.

Send in those sizzling stories that you know about our fave showbiz personalities at pete_ampolo [email protected] and #09994269588, #09276557791 and #09223870129 and read them here. And with that, ito po ang kuya Pete ninyo na nagsasabing, Christopher, my son, I love you very, very much, my love for you goes beyond eternity. Adios. Mabalos. I always need you, Nong!

pete Ampoloquio, Jr.