Walang K manlait!

Hahahahahahahahahaha! I don’t give a hoot about you guys. Mga katsangero’t katsangera naman kayo, hindi naman nakatutulong sa inyong mga idolo.

Sa halip na magkakatsang at laitin ang mga reporters na pumupuna sa inyong plain-looking na idolo, why don’t you scrimp a little so that you would have enough money when their movie would open up in cinemas near you. Hahahahahahahahaha!

Walang maidudulot na mabuti ang mga kababuyan at katarayan ninyo.

Sa true, naba-vibes ko na ilalampaso ng movie ng KathNiel ang movie ng inyong idolo.

In the first place, si Inang Olivia Lamasan lang naman ang direktor nito and knowing how good a director she is, I’m 100% sure that the movie’s going to be a veritable blockbuster.

Wanna bet?

Besides, hindi true na nagkakagustuhan ang inyong mga idolo. Parang mag-amiga intima lang sila at kapag tapos na ang shoot, kanya-kanya na sila ng walk. Hakhakhakhakhakhakhakhak!

Iba ang trip ni Alden and I’m telling you this, hindi ‘yun si Maine.

Hindi raw si Maid Mendoza, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Another thing, apart from the fact that your idol happens to be maid-like (maid-like raw, o! Hahahahahahahaha!) she is also devoid of good PR and oozing with delusions.

Ang kaso, laos na siya nang magkaroon ng ilusyon. Harharharharharharharharhar!

Kung noong medyo sikat pa ay walang tao sa Broadway Centrum at obvious na nagsawa na sila sa kapipila, kumustahin mo kaya ngayong osla na sila?

Hindi kaya mga langaw at ipis na lang ang pumipila sa takilya? Harharharharharhar!

Jesus H. Christ! How would the producers react knowing pretty well that the movie’s shot in its entirety in Italy?

Meaning, expensive!

Ngayon palang, our condolences! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

Knowing how veritably ham Main is, I’m sure that she is going to give a lackluster performance.

Lackluster performance raw, o! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Kaya magrosaryo na kayo mga Maine fanatics na sana’y hindi naman mag-first day, last day ang movie ng inyong idolo. Hahahahahahahaha!

If that would happen, would she have the face to face the moviegoing public? Hahahahahahahahahaha!

Kawawa naman!

Eat your heart out, Maid Mendoza! Hahahahahahahahahahaha!

BANAT – Pete Ampoloquio, Jr.